Get a explanation of Glenn Beck’s new schill from an unlikely source.
Spam on the Road: Goodbye for Now Oh Great White North.
Just crossed back into the good old US of A , already I feel fatter, lazier and more self important. Last night we spent in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Most of us spent the night at a place called MENZ BAR. ( john would love it) where we watched the local drag show. Then we followed all the queens ( one gave us a ride) to the other dance bar called Refections.
It was the same show. However, when we arrived they noticed that they didn’t have anyone to run spotlight, so I jumped up on the platform right away, switched it on and went to work. Hint, A little red gel in the spot makes any queen look 100 times better. My help with the show did not go unnoticed, as the stars of the show kept buying me drinks. Yeehaw . I had to text Chris Peterson and tell him the whole story too.
The bar closed at 345 and our bus call was 4 am, so that worked out great. We all dragged our drunk asses onto the buss for a 13 hour trip to Burlington VT.
BUT NOT BEFORE…we stopped at a little place called KING OF DONAIR, and had a slice of pizza. They didn’t sell tshirts tho. sorry Chad.
However, Trailer park fans, I did get to see Reveen in the poster above…..thought you might like that.
RAAAAAAVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!
in the northern states all this week, back to Canada next week.
I will blog again when somethin’ happens
Will
GoatHead
Once again I found myself in Washington County, MD this weekend, and it went smoothly considering what typically happens to me in the past. However, this time I was too confident and just as my daughter and I where leaving to head back home, we stopped at Sheetz to get a bite to eat. The place was crowded and people did their best to line up as civilly as possible while waiting for food, checking out, and basic store navigation.
While I was waiting in line, an older gentlemen thought wrong. He wanted to walk in front of me to exit the store. Cool. He looked at me and said “Excuse me”. I said “Oh, go right ahead sir…” He thought I called him a “goat head” and said “Well, goat head, that was a mean thing to say…” as he glaringly huffed away at me in front of all these people waiting in line.
WTF? Now, granted this place was loud, but really? Goat head? OK. I give up Washington County. You win.
Trivia Starts Again At The Frogg Pond, Rehoboth Beach Delaware! Trailer Park Boys Are Back!
As a Noreaster rolls up the coast, we began the Fall Frogg Pond Tournament. We’re down a man. Pat is getting his foot fixed. (Get better soon, damnit! We miss you and need you. We keep missing all the sports questions!)
The Trailer Park Boys — Mark, Davey, Lonnie, and I — crawled out of trailers or trailer-like structures for week 1 of the tournament. There were a lot of new teams. I hope they all had as much fun as we did.
We finished Round 1 with 24/30 points, which is really good. The round one Bonus was a Marilyn Monroe question. So we turned to our resident old fart, Mark, who confidently answered it. He sounded so sure, we bet the farm. But we got it wrong… happens to all of us. Then we only got one answer right on the first f-a-b (fast action bonus). We were up to 5 points and had a bad start to the second round. The funniest question of the night was, “What is the scent put on the fake rabbits that greyhounds chase in a race?” Lonnie shouted out “Monica Lewinsky” so loud that and an older woman two tables away spit mashed potatoes all over her husband. Still makes me giggle.
Mark redeemed himself in round three! He successfully put Burger King, Pizza Hut, Arbys, and Wendys in the correct order from oldest to newest. He held his ground under tough questioning, doubting, and my over rationalizing.
Lonnie and Mark have come up with a new scale for how certain they are. I guess my method of asking if you are 7-sure – meaning you would bet the maximum amount if you could – was too dull. Of course their scale starts with their lowest rating: winked at it on Manhunt. And runs to the highest rating of: I had children with that answer. 2 through 6 are way too graphic to publish and a little gross… well, a lot gross. But kept us cheerful as we came back to answer the BONUS and all the f-a-b questions correctly.
We finished the game strong, because we know not to bet the farm if we aren’t totally in a committed loving relationship with our answer to the final bonus question. I think we’re in 4th place.
Join us for trivia at the Frogg Pond in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware every Thursday night at 7:30. Half price entrees, wine, and the best service in town! We have room on our team for a few more people… Or form your own team and help us try to beat the Village Idiots, Know Nothings, and Four Play.
JohnnyD
Glady’s New Favorite Music Video!
SPAM ON THE ROAD: O F&%$ing Canada
I am now a temporary citizen on Canada. Im not just saying that cause I’m visiting. I had to pay 200 dollars to become one.
Here’s the story….
So we are crossing the Canadian border right. Everyone has their passports in order, and everything is going smoothly when the officer that was assigned to our bus calls out ” Will Harrell, will you please come into the office. We need to talk to you.”
Oh Shit….out of everyone on the bus, I get called in.
In 2003 I got a speeding ticket in Alabama. I forgot about that ticket, didn’t pay it, and got a failure to appear in court. I paid all my fines, got my licenses renewed and everything was honky dorey. However, when they pull me into the border center they tell me that I am inadmissible to the country because I have a failure to appear on my record.
” Well what can I do?” I ask ” I have to go with the show.”
They tell me that I need to call Alabama and have them fax a document stating that all of this has been resolved. I would have done that except for the fact that Monday was Columbus day, a state holiday. Nobody was at work.
So what the fuck do I do? The border guy just sort of shrugs and I really start to get scared. ” Well, there has to be something we can do.”
Then he says that I can become a temporary Canadian citizen for the duration of our travels between there and the states. ” How much does that cost?” 200 dollars, that’s how much. They won’t take me because I failed to appear in court for a speeding ticket but they’ll take my money, no more questions asked. Needless to say, I paid up and became a temporary hosier. A greasy cheeseburger packing motherfucker.
St. John was beautiful.
New joke for Chef Jeff: What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!
Will
ANOTHER New Track from Hozpitality..
Tonite, Bob and I smashed together another masterwork of audio material. This is the next hit on the new landmark Hozpitality album.
This one is called, “I’m Gonna Put It On My Iphone”
Click here to get your hot and juicy mp3 copy of Hozpitality-I'm Gonna Put This On My IPhone.mp3
Enjoy!
Not a wet COLE HAMELS,…but still
He’s a little too attached to that bat.
welcome to philly
…and a picture of the guy authorities believe to be responsible for the incident.
God, what a loser,…nice jacket ace! Were they all out of METS gear at the Houston Galleria?!
At least he didnt throw his Florsheims
sweet!
