I am now a temporary citizen on Canada. Im not just saying that cause I’m visiting. I had to pay 200 dollars to become one.

Here’s the story….

So we are crossing the Canadian border right. Everyone has their passports in order, and everything is going smoothly when the officer that was assigned to our bus calls out ” Will Harrell, will you please come into the office. We need to talk to you.”

Oh Shit….out of everyone on the bus, I get called in.

In 2003 I got a speeding ticket in Alabama. I forgot about that ticket, didn’t pay it, and got a failure to appear in court. I paid all my fines, got my licenses renewed and everything was honky dorey.  However, when they pull me into the border center they tell me that I am inadmissible to the country because I have a failure to appear on my record.

” Well what can I do?” I ask ” I have to go with the show.”

They tell me that I need to call Alabama and have them fax a document stating that all of this has been resolved. I would have done that except for the fact that Monday was Columbus day, a state holiday. Nobody was at work.

So what the fuck do I do?  The border guy just sort of shrugs and I really start to get scared. ” Well, there has to be something we can do.”

Then he says that I can become a temporary Canadian citizen for the duration of our travels between there and the states. ” How much does that cost?”     200 dollars, that’s how much.  They won’t take me because I failed to appear in court for a speeding ticket but they’ll take my money, no more questions asked. Needless to say, I paid up and became a temporary hosier. A greasy cheeseburger packing motherfucker.

St. John was beautiful.

New joke for Chef Jeff:   What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball?  Juan on Juan!

Will