Category Archives: Chronicles of the Absurd

CHOB, Chronicles of the Absurd, Cool stuff, Hozpitality, Music Sound Noise Audio, silly, WMOM

Stupid Twiki Shit

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What do Godzilla, Buck Rogers and Twiki, Gloria Estefan, Prince, and the word “Booty” have in common?

This video above is the answer.

This is a song made after a Phillies NLCS game, late night, and drunk.

Concept was by Mike Ortiz. We pressed the buttons, I made the video, and made this miraculous concept a reality.

Things used:

Ableton 9 (too cheap to upgrade it) for the music.
Arturia Keystep 37 (to play godzilla noises).
Novation Launchpad Pro (to trigger the samples).
PowerPoint to make the video.

In summary, “Bidi bidi bidi, booty booty booty, B-b-b-b-buck!”

Angry Hot Dog, Apartment Living in DC Metro Area, Chronicles of the Absurd, Grinds My Gears, Music Sound Noise Audio, Political, silly

So How Is The Job Hunt Going?

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A listing for a technical writer position came up in Rockville. SIX different “recruiters” called me for it.

  • All offering different lengths of contract.
  • Some showed a salary range and some didn’t.
  • Some of them called BEFORE sending a job description i.e., “cold called.”
  • 3 left a message.

This was the one that I could understand the most. This is an example of one of the “great” recruiters in “America” that are the “Warriors of My Future” who will save me from homelessness in this “great” nation. These are the people who control my future and destiny and stand between me and that all so important encompassing enthralling career move that will change my life and make things better for me.

Let’s just listen to the magic and hope for my future.

Think I have any hope? At all?

Do you have a clearer understanding of my “attitude”?

I get this at a rate between 6-12 interactions a day. I’ve had these and answered them and tried to work with them now for 7 months. Do you think these are actual jobs? Any thoughts at all about this would be interesting from anyone. I’ve already emailed 2 congressman about this with no responses.

All I can say is WHAT THE HELL?!?!

UPDATE: I just had a job description that asked if “Any time planned off next few months (Dr appointments, Vacations, etc.)? ”

I replied with “I may get sick. I am human. I do not “need” a vacation ever, but it may be difficult to come to work constantly with no time away. Once again, I am human.”

Angry Hot Dog, Chronicles of the Absurd, Grinds My Gears, Political

“Fighting The Cyber”

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I am no expert in Cyber Security. I do sort of have an understanding of technical jargon. It kills me or literally sickens me, when senior Trump administration officials refer to Cyber Security as “Fighting the Cyber”.

This sounds like a stupid alien race from Star Trek.

I heard this today in a video posted on CNN.

This atrocity of the English language was perpetrated by Steve Mnuchin, Trump’s treasury secretary.

Secretary Mnuchin Fighting The Cyber

I can completely understand the lack of understanding of what it takes to work on Cyber Security infrastructure. It is a daunting and complex task. But saying things like “fight cyber” shows a lack of understanding AND A CLEAR LACK OF CONCERN AND LAZINESS TO THE POINT OF NOT EVEN WORDING IT CORRECTLY.

People in power that treat issues like this with this public level of impotent concern should be fired. I know I would be fired or at least publicly shamed for it.

High paid glory sucking idiots !!! This is the freaking TREASURY SECRETARY. He better start understanding this terminology and learning to use it correctly at least in public statements. It’s terrifying that someone in charge of money doesn’t even understand how to use this term correctly in common dialect. SHAME SHAME SHAME!

Angry Hot Dog, Apartment Living in DC Metro Area, Chronicles of the Absurd, Cool stuff, Grinds My Gears, Music Sound Noise Audio, Political, silly

Big Deal !!! Who Cares !!!

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Angry Hot Dog, Chronicles of the Absurd, Cool stuff, Grinds My Gears, Humpday Hero, Music Sound Noise Audio, silly, WMOM

Mike O’meara Show – Nitrous Oxide Poops

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This was in the “News You May Not Need” section of The Mike O’Meara Show on May 25, 2016. I hope it’s OK to post a clip like this but I just had to because I spit up my soda at the end.

I’ve been listening and subscribing to this show for years and I’m going to start plugging it more with my own clips here since I don’t use bookface.

Go to their site and smarten up!  Ya Shart!

Angry Hot Dog, Apartment Living in DC Metro Area, Chronicles of the Absurd, Grinds My Gears, Political

Another example how DC, Maryland and Virginia is the ground zero of stupidity

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Well, here we go folks.  The ignorant powers that be, think the Landover Maryland Redskins need yet ANOTHER FOOTBALL STADIUM.  That’s right.  Now MD, VA, and DC are all fighting to get this stadium put in their region….

Read the ignorance

Here’s some more ignorance

scared_imageDC Sucks!

This whole idea is so stupid it makes my head explode.  Is this the freakin twilight zone?

I could not take it.  I left a comment:

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?! REALLY?! This area and the NFL (the rape artistes of ignorant fans) need another stadium?? OF ALL THE THINGS THIS AREA NEEDS… we’re going to have ANOTHER STADIUM? This just reinforces the fact that this is the STUPIDEST area in which I have ever lived.

The traffic is so bad here, the taxes are too high, the team sucks (and yes, poorly named, just admit it already), the metro is crumbling and poorly managed, AND WE NEED ANOTHER FOOTBALL STADIUM? Are you people high or is there some secret Kool-Aid you are all drinking that makes this seem charming or even acceptable? (Head in hands). This is truly the absolute STUPIDEST thing I’ve ever heard of for the DC metro region.

Watch. Knowing how ignorant the priorities and planning seem to be here in the DMV, they will put this atrocity (whatever it looks like, another football stadium is an ugly idea) in an area that cant support the traffic and there will be no reasonable public transit near it. And what do we do with fedex field and RFK? How many more useless stadiums need to dot the already messed up landscape of nightmarish sprawl around here?

Folks, this whole idea of ANOTHER football stadium in this area PROVES that this is the dumbest place in the freaking developed world. What next? A public shooting range on the national mall?!? Ahh the DMV… land of entitled and rewarded INCOMPETENCE AND IGNORANCE!!!!

Just look how stupid this thing is. It looks like a stupid noodle bowl. And yes folks, that IS A MOAT around the thing. Can you imagine how that stagnant water would look and smell?
dc stadium0

And even worse, look how delusional this architect views the weather in DC for football. Imagine laying on a fake “moat beach” while a tsunami comes in.  Imagine all the drunk football fans rappelling down the side of the stadium during football games, while drunk fans in roller blades wearing booty shorts and tank tops skate around the stadium in December!  All they need now are aqua-unicorns dancing in the moat.  Was this done by a 5 year old with photo shop?  Clearly SOMEBODY is high on SOMETHING!!!
dc stadium

They should show the above ground metro rail behind it (like down at RFK stadium) whizzing by in flames with people screaming out the windows in agony! That would be more appropriate!  Too late, I did it myself!  HA!

dc stadium1

My GOD this town is a freaking joke!  I can’t believe these images were seriously posted to the Washington Post and CBS.  It’s like an alternate reality of stupidity!

Cool stuff, Gladys, Great Moments in Parenting, Humpday Hero, silly

Ponzü: The Kitty Vulture

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Gladys’s cousin, Ponzü has been stuck in a tree for 3 days.

UPDATE!  Ponzü rescued!
Back on terra firma !!

None of us will forget Ponzü Liberation Day (December 2, 2015) of rejoicing when Ponzü was rescued from the 3 day nightmare in the tree.  VIVE LA PONZüüüü!!!!!!!!!

Ponzü Liberation Day – December 2, 2015
Never Forget!!

LIBERTYYYYYYYY!

Angry Hot Dog, Chronicles of the Absurd, Grinds My Gears, Humpday Hero, silly

Keep It “Rill” Baltimore!

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They be gettin wic welfare n everything else!!!

Ahhh Maryland. So classy. We sure know how to prop up our rich dont we! Then this crap is running wild. Tax me harder Maryland. I love being your bitch!

SHAMEFUL AND PATHETIC, NOT ON THE CITY BUT THE WHOLE STATE!

(AND i’m in love with the commentator… “deuces”)

Chronicles of the Absurd, Grinds My Gears, silly, Travelogue

The Sad State of Caesars Entertainment’s Harrahs Resort in Atlantic City, NJ

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Spent the weekend in Atlantic City at Harrah’s Casino/Resort. We got a room at the Harrah’s Marina building. Everything was expensive. The room looked like a bad motel 6.

Here are some of the atrocities.

Hunk of hair weave hair on the floor of our hotel room. So obviously lazy vacuuming.
Hunk of hair weave hair on the floor of our hotel room. So obviously lazy vacuuming.

The carpet was stained and discolored in so many places, walking around in your bare feet was a disgusting thought. I know what a vomited wine stain looks like. There was a lot of that all over the place

Carpet Stains
Carpet Stains

Another lovely carpet stain
Another lovely carpet stain

The furniture looked like it had not been replaced since the 80’s. The stains on the furniture were so nasty looking, we put towels on the furniture before we sat on it.

Stain on chair. Looks like someone had to pee really bad.
Stain on chair. Looks like someone had to pee really bad.

Stain on 80's couch. Once again, looks like someone had to pee really bad.
Stain on 80’s couch. Once again, looks like someone had to pee really bad.

Even the pictures had stains on the glass framing. So it looks like they cant even spray some windex and wipe down the pictures.

Even the pictures haven't been wiped down.
Even the pictures haven’t been wiped down.

Here is the view from the window in the room. You can look out over Atlantic City, NJ and see Hotel/Casino’s that are closed (out of business) and other Hotel/Casino’s where they may actually properly clean their rooms.

Window View
Window View