Because it’s too much like a god damned over-dramatized movie…
Tag Archives: Absurd
The Greatest Event in Television History
Finally. the genius of the Season 4 opening scene of Hart to Hart is recognized.
Humpday Heroes
Who doesn’t need a hero to hump? And why does Wednesday never appear in any popular song lyrics? So starting today, this day is for the unsung heroes of this world. Fuck all the other days of the week, cause on Wednesday you’re a hero!
Today’s hero came to me over this weekend. Charles Nelson Reilly.
Yes, Charles was a hero on so many levels that if I have to explain it to you, it would cause dizziness, severe cramping, nausea, heat stroke, bloating, premature age spotting, blindness, and dry mouth.
So let’s all raise, whatever it is you raise, one up high tonight for Mr. Reilly. A tribute to a true American Hero:
Yet Another Stupid Job Posting Buzzword
Folks, the list grows daily. Put this up there with great job listing terms like “ability to self municate”.
The listing du jour follows:
“Master storytellerable to craft a master narrative cohering an entire curriculum; able to write stories that relate the unknown to the known; able to create immersive, narrative-driven, learning experiences that expose learners to new beliefs or reframe current beliefs that drive effective behaviors; able to simplify and rationalize the complex and irrational.”
What the hell is “Master storytellerable”?? I’m serious folks. This was in a job requirement. This sounds like they want you to create some sort of Romulan brain torture device. REEEEEDICULOUS!!!
A possible rewrite would be:
“Able to change republicans to democrats and straights to gays. Able to see into the future without a crystal ball and be held accountable for this. Make lazy people energized with stuff that makes them lazy in the first place. Change Christians into Atheists at the wave of a wand. (and lets not forget) Spoon feed the lazy and the rich.”
I am now going to crawl into bed and cry!
I Hate This Bitch
Can’t stand her voice. Can’t stand looking at her or hearing her speak. Have always thought she was off her rocker. Now we have the proof. Enjoy!
The Continuing Audio Saga of Job Hunting in Amurka (aka Halloo Meester Glabeeyl): Episode #1
I have decided to start recording my potential job “Whoppertunities®”.
This is the first of hopefully many audio bits of recruiters calling me with job opportunities. Essentially, they are the people who will be representing me to my future dream employer. I suppose this IS the best person to do that. (Sigh). Odds are, well, I’m still looking for work….
Our first contestant in this series needs some serious slowing down or something. I like how long it takes her to find my name on the prostitute du jour list.
Here she is a little slower. Try not to laugh, I laughed it all out!
And, just to show I care, here she is SLOW but with a funky beat for no particular reason.
More to come… Get all excited! Any ideas, or comments? I’m all in!
“The hills are aliiiive, with the sound of droooonesss (ic)”
“Mom? Why Am I So Dumb?!”
Maybe because you’re a Mormon?! MAYBE? Maybe Jesus just thinks you’re a jerk!
I am worried this will start a daily Bitchin Bob Atheist Rant.
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
Communism on Quaaludes
Give everyone over there a ‘lude, slow things down a bit.
or maybe a little HIP HOP would make things better?
For your consideration…
First, there was THIS GUY
Then, there was this…
NOW, for your viewing pleasure, I bring you “10 hours of Diarrhea”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=bQx5wSpmg9g
I’ve been searching for the ‘Director’s Cut’ of this wonderful, inspiring Art House film for MONTHS now! Utilizing fresh, well-written dialogue and mesmerizing visuals, the 3 hours of additional/unseen footage boldly brings together many of the unresolved issues in plot-line and theme the initial theatrical release failed to address.
Enjoy!