All posts by cemego

NEW FEATURE: Funny Job Recruiter Names

velcome
This starts a new feature.

On the news this morning (on the radio) I heard that there are more jobs available then workers in America. I can very easily explain to the “job creators” (which is a bullshit term that has no validity in real life) that the reason for this is what JohnnyD said years ago: “Everyone wants the help and nobody wants to pay for it”. If the “job creators” actually paid a sensible wage in correlation to the cost of living in the geographical area in which they are hiring, this wouldn’t be a problem. BUT when you pay McDonald’s wages for a job that requires 24/7 availability and a masters degree, this is what happens. Like the band Rush says, “You can’t have something for nothing…”

Also there seems to be a reoccurring theme here. I have been a contractor for the majority of my working life (20+ years). In this time, I have seen my employer names become more and more harder to pronounce. I have also found that the companies I’ve been working for are all based overseas. This means, when you call your HR office, you are using a country code to call internationally.

I JUST WANT TO WORK FOR AN AMERICAN COMPANY BASED IN AMERICA RUN BY PEOPLE WHO SPEAK MY LANGUAGE.

Everyday, I get emails from recruiters that have crazy foreign names. Some are hilarious. (My favorite was a few years ago when I got an email from a recruiter named “Bibbit Babu”). Since I no longer have the patience to answer their phone calls because I dont understand them when they call me (reference this posting), I have decided to list the funny names. So, if you want to work in america, these are the people you must beg and plead for a job in this stupid ignorant nation of greed and sell outs. To be honest, I think these people are driving our wages down. They work for nothing, so that means america is going to turn into the next New Delhi. I wonder how the clean white rich “job creators” will feel when their neighborhood turns into something that looks like a slum in India, because that’s where we are heading.
slum

This has become so bad, that I may have to make a posting everyday with these. It definitely is a laugh trying to pronounce them. It is also funny when they call me and say, “Hello Shad Glaybeel…”:

Today’s job recruiter names:
1. Joshi Ganesh
2. Vinit Rathi
3. Krishna Chaitanya Vempati
4. Faiz Ali Raza
5. Wei Wang

Yesterday’s names:
1. Preethi Vadagule
2. Mohd Faiz
3. Rahul Dhawan
4. Prashant Patel
5. Bala Rudravarapu
6. Bala Peddinti
7. Vipin
8. Simran Kaur

This is NOT an exaggeration. And I have received ZERO listings from a name that sounds English.

The good part is, I am a technical writer that speaks/writes English as a native language. These people will always need someone like me. The sad part is, when interviewing with these people, when you can actually UNDERSTAND them on the phone, they have no concept of geography. They think Pittsburgh is a 5 minute walk up the road from Philadelphia. Sure, they think its no problem for you to uproot your entire existence to work 500 miles away on a 3 month long contract with no benefits and a wage that makes the janitor laugh.

Folks, this stuff makes me hate america SO MUCH its disgusting.

Damned Blinkin’ Asteroid

Blinkin' Asteroid

This is a new pattern I created this evening calling Blinkin’ Asteroid. This was done completely on the Korg Electribe Sampler.


I created this after listening to this song at lunch. You can hear how hung up I get on the smallest of tunes in a day.

Thank you Brian Eno and Karl Hyde for inspiration!
(and DAMMIT! YOU LAZY PEOPLE! I know you are all sitting there listening to this through some shitty phone speakers. I DO NOT MIX FOR CELL PHONE SPEAKERS so get yer damned head phones out, you lazy ass!)

Keep It “Rill” Baltimore!

They be gettin wic welfare n everything else!!!

Ahhh Maryland. So classy. We sure know how to prop up our rich dont we! Then this crap is running wild. Tax me harder Maryland. I love being your bitch!

SHAMEFUL AND PATHETIC, NOT ON THE CITY BUT THE WHOLE STATE!

(AND i’m in love with the commentator… “deuces”)

The Second CHOB Album Has (Crash) Landed!

Chob-Chob II Cover

The triumphant return of the Hozpitality spin-off, Chob. Pushing the limits, of their former ambient/sound painting foundation, Chob incorporates more rhythms and sonic textures of radiance, and sinister darkness. Dive into the sea of exploration with the sonic exploitation of Chob II.

Track List

  1. Morning Fog on The Docks (5:18)
  2. Some Fussypooting (3:28)
  3. Organstwa (3:53)
  4. Sub Marine (5:26)
  5. Somethingness (5:29)
  6. Calculated Mechanations (3:55)
  7. Some of These Days (2:31)
  8. Metrocentric (3:13)
  9. The Stampede of Legislature (1:57)
  10. Pelvic Thrust (2:13)
  11. Evening Mist on The Pier (2:10)

Personnel:

Bitchin Bob: Guitar, Synth, Phone, Tablet, Percussion
CeMeGo: Bass, Synth, Phone, Percussion
Brian: Synth, Phone

Tools used:

Ableton Live 9 Suite (too complicated!)
Adobe Audition (too useful unfortunately!)
Caustic (Phone App)
Custom Built Joe Kaufman Fender Stratocaster
Fender Aerodyne Bass
Korg Electribe Sampler 2
Korg Mini-KP
Korg Kaossilator Pro
Korg Kaossilator
Korg MicroKey
Sony Acid Pro 7
Synchroid (Phone App)

Click here to download the album in a zip file with cover art (39 megs).

We still don’t make money off of this crap. We do it for pleasure! The best compensation would be a comment or review right here on this blog again. Chob thanks YOU (and your Somethingness)!

Eighth Release from Hozpitality!!! We’re BACK!

Hozpitality-To Go

Inspired by this quote:

My interest in making music has been to create something that does not exist that I would like to listen to, not because I wanted a job as a musician. I wanted to hear music that had not yet happened, by putting together things that suggested a new thing which did not yet exist. It’s like having a ready-made formula if you are able to read it.

— Brian Eno

Track List

  1. Synchroid Inclusion (2:30)
    CeMeGo “barely” tries to play bass guitar on this one.  This uses the Synchroid phone application for bleep bleep music fun.
  2. Waka Waka (3:41)
    A pre-built rhythm on the Korg Electribe S causes Brian and CeMeGo to break out in a crazy jam.  Brian plays the spooky atmospheric phone app Caustic.
  3. Nicky Anus (3:21)
    MsNeeBo tells the story of what it would be like to be married to a guy named Nicky Anus.  This also happens to be her fictitious hockey player in NHL 2014 for the PlayStation.
  4. The Mean Streets (8:12)
    Another pre-built rhythm on the Korg Electribe S.  Brian does the spooky atmosphere and occaisional melody on the phone app Caustic.  CeMeGo pointlessly mashes pads on the Electribe and Kaossilator.
  5. Hipster Roller Rink (2:43)
    Started as an instrumental track by CeMeGo.  MsNeeBo and Bitchin Bob demanded a vocal.  This was the result.  (BitchinBob channels Fred Schneider).
  6. NDAD (1:30)
    “Neighbors Dogs are Dicks”.  This is an actual recording of the chorus of dog barkings behind MsNeeBo’s house on a lovely fall evening.  This uses the Kruud VST synthesizer/sequencer on the Korg Microkey for quirky melody.  Hang in for the rockin’ break down on the last half of the track.
  7. Jagdeesh Donuts (4:03)
    A Dunkin Donuts in Eldersburg, MD has an annoying order taker with the name “Jagdeesh” who always yells your order back at you.  He’s very aggressive.  MsNeeBo hit the drive thru with a recording device.  Magic ensues with Sweet Tea and Cream Cheese.
  8. Black Friday(Get Behind Me) (3:03)
    This was recorded around Christmas 2013.  MsNeeBo and CeMeGo playing with the magic of synthetically tortured voices on the Kaossilator.  A song about Christmas shopping riots with a rhythmic electronic “bop” for good measure.
  9. Godwins (6:56)
    Heavy distortion lovers rejoice!!  BitchinBob on electric guitar and CeMeGo on bass guitar flailing and reverb/delay smashing.  BitchinBob reveals the true nature of biblical doctrine at the end in “evil satan voice”.  Thought of the day:  “Things that don’t work properly will now become things that DO work properly.” Fortunately “God Wins!”

Personnel:
Bitchin Bob:  Voices, Guitar, Synth, Phone, Tablet, Percussion
CeMeGo: Voices, Bass, Synth, Phone, Percussion
MsNeeBo: Voices, Synth, Percussion
Brian: Synth, Phone

Tools used:
Ableton Live 9 Suite (too complicated!)
A bunch of .VST files (Virtual Studio Technology)
Adobe Audition (too useful unfortunately!)
Caustic (Phone App)
Custom Built Joe Kaufman Fender Stratocaster
Fender Aerodyne Bass
Korg Electribe Sampler 2
Korg Mini-KP
Korg Kaossilator Pro
Korg Kaossilator
Korg MicroKey
Sony Acid Pro 7 (new computer/less crashes)
Synchroid (Phone App)

Click here to download the album in a zip file with cover art (34 megs).

We still don’t make money off of this crap. We do it for pleasure! The best compensation would be a comment or review right here on this blog again. Hozpitality thanks YOU (and your Nicky Anus)!

A Whole Bin of Stupid Videos

OH MY GOSH… ITS SO HARD TO STOP… LOOKIT THE WIGGLE!!! (Me thinks the lady is losing her mind).

Nobody Bothers Me!!!

Eastern Motors. If you live in the DMV, you know this or you haven’t been alive. It’s a buncha sports people I couldn’t care less about. If you are bored, just play “point at the felon”.

Same song, only with Alexander Ovechkin… You know… that guy that IS the washington capitals team (in its’ entirety). He’s ugly, he cant sing, and what the hell was anyone thinking!

I need to visit this place. SPECIAL NOTE HON: The bawlmer accent on the announcer reading the address and phone.

And a nod to the mass media whore market of Philadelphia, here is the BEST NEWS THEME EVERRRRRR!!!

Why does Captain Chesapeake keep pictures of children on his “Cabin Wall” … and why is he dressed like a prisoner?

Thats all for now. Leave a comment or add more. I don’t have facebook… I needs the info…

Hozpitality 2015 Explosion!!!

headache-nausea-diarrhea-fatigue-chills-menopause
Some very hot molten tracks were laid down tonight!!!

Brian and I laid down some shit with:

  • his phone app, Caustic
  • Korg Electribe Sampler
  • Korg Kaossilator Pro
  • Korg MiniKP (red box)

Here’s the hot sexy results.

Try not to think you are in a Baretta chase scene with this one called “Crystal Shit”:

This is a long ride, but worth it for the ending.

Leave comments and prepare ideas. Hozpitality’s new album is coming at you like an electronic tsunami!!!!!!

DC Sucks.. And I Think This Guy Figured It Out

Stumbled over these on the innernets…  This guy has  totally figured out DC.  Brings to mind my previous posting…

Check out his video about Arlington, VA:

or even better… watch his video about the DC Metro (and the worthless overpriced dangerous piece of shit that it is).

How to Start a Business by Dwight Schrute from The Office

This made me laugh..

(fromThe Office-809)

and a nice animated gif to boot!

dwight