Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett have been busy turning up on stupid Comedy Central game shows and stealing the show. They really need their own television show of some kind.
Tag Archives: makes you think
Job Hunt: What is Wrong With This STUPID Country?!
Below is an exchange between one of the 6-10 job recruitment emails I receive DAILY. (Don’t be fooled folks, the job market out there is really good).
However, this demonstrates what is inherently wrong with labor and the “job creators”* in our country.
(*Remember, the term “job creator” is total bullshit because the people who have the ability to create jobs really dont give a damn if they are creating jobs or not. They just want to see if they can get their overhead and hire people for as little wage as humanly possible. Essentially, these companies would hire neuro physicists for $5 an hour if they could get away with it). Below is the exchange.)
From: Jolly
8:12 AM (1 hour ago)
Hi:
Hope you are doing good today!
This is in reference to your profile I got from our database. I wanted to check your availability for an URGENT position we have.
Please review the details below and let me know your interest.
Position: Technical Documentation Specialist
Location: Martinsburg, WV 25405
Duration: 5 years+
Client: Naval Postgraduate School (NPS)
Purpose:
The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) intends to do an 8(a) Competitive procurement for Data Entry, Imaging, Indexing, IT Support Services and Related Support Services for the ATF National Tracing Center located at the Martinsburg, WV facility under North American Industry Classification System (NAICS) 518210.
General Qualifications:
· Proficient Technical Skills
· Demonstrated Writing Skills at the 12 grade (High School) and higher
· Demonstrated ability to accurately type at least 40 wpm
· Interpersonal Skills
· Active Listening Skills
Required Skills:
· Demonstrated proficiency in Microsoft Office Products (Excel, Word, Power Point, etc.)
· General knowledge of IT concepts and terminology relative to Web Development
· Experience drafting technical documentation and training materials
Jolly
——– my first response ——-
Chad Graybill
9:10 AM (19 minutes ago)
to Jolly
Everything listed is well within the scope of my experience. Currently, I am working on a contract that seems to have no end for HRSA.
I am making $xx/hour on a 1099 with absolutely no benefits including no sick leave.
If you can do better than this, I will consider.
Thanks,
Chad Graybill
——– Jolly’s response ———-
From: Jolly
to me
I can do $xx + $5/hr on 1099.
Please send me your updated resume.
Thanks!
Jolly
——– My second response ———–
To: Jolly
(attached resume)
Considering I just re-signed a year lease living in North Bethesda, MD…. I don’t think this rate is reasonable enough for me to break my lease and move my life to Martinsburg, WV. The commute from my current residence is 50+ miles one way through some of the worst traffic the east coast has to offer.
Can we reconsider with this in mind?
A friend of mine said, “There are many job opportunities out there right now. The problem is that everyone wants help, but nobody wants to pay for it.” Can you show ME that you really want my help and make it worth my while to uproot my life for this? The way I see this, we are all responsible for our own health care at this point. I dont understand why companies have very little to pay for labor these days. It’s bad enough that we now cover our own health care, then companies don’t want to pay for any sick or vacation leave. How much more cheaper can we make labor for the “job creators”? I don’t understand why BEFORE the ACA(“obamacare”), companies covered health care AND leave. Now they want to cover NOTHING? I dont see how this is reasonable or even fair.
Merely $5 extra dollars an hours doesn’t seem really reasonable enough for this.
Apparently, when we want something we pay for it. When the “job creators” or the people who HAVE MONEY want something, we are supposed to give it to them for free.
This is why I do not rise for the national anthem.
UPDATE: this person didn’t even read the response and just sent me a form to sign for “exclusivity” so nobody else can PIMP me for this contract. Essentially, they just made the assumption that I accepted their offer. Once again, proof that nobody in America reads ANYTHING. I responded saying:
We are still negotiating! If you actually read my last post you will know that I did not accept your offer and was questioning the reasons why the consideration is so low. I will not sign any agreement until the terms are reasonable. Your suggested terms are not reasonable as mentioned in my last post.
A Song for Apple IPhone Users
NEW FEATURE: Funny Job Recruiter Names
This starts a new feature.
On the news this morning (on the radio) I heard that there are more jobs available then workers in America. I can very easily explain to the “job creators” (which is a bullshit term that has no validity in real life) that the reason for this is what JohnnyD said years ago: “Everyone wants the help and nobody wants to pay for it”. If the “job creators” actually paid a sensible wage in correlation to the cost of living in the geographical area in which they are hiring, this wouldn’t be a problem. BUT when you pay McDonald’s wages for a job that requires 24/7 availability and a masters degree, this is what happens. Like the band Rush says, “You can’t have something for nothing…”
Also there seems to be a reoccurring theme here. I have been a contractor for the majority of my working life (20+ years). In this time, I have seen my employer names become more and more harder to pronounce. I have also found that the companies I’ve been working for are all based overseas. This means, when you call your HR office, you are using a country code to call internationally.
I JUST WANT TO WORK FOR AN AMERICAN COMPANY BASED IN AMERICA RUN BY PEOPLE WHO SPEAK MY LANGUAGE.
Everyday, I get emails from recruiters that have crazy foreign names. Some are hilarious. (My favorite was a few years ago when I got an email from a recruiter named “Bibbit Babu”). Since I no longer have the patience to answer their phone calls because I dont understand them when they call me (reference this posting), I have decided to list the funny names. So, if you want to work in america, these are the people you must beg and plead for a job in this stupid ignorant nation of greed and sell outs. To be honest, I think these people are driving our wages down. They work for nothing, so that means america is going to turn into the next New Delhi. I wonder how the clean white rich “job creators” will feel when their neighborhood turns into something that looks like a slum in India, because that’s where we are heading.
This has become so bad, that I may have to make a posting everyday with these. It definitely is a laugh trying to pronounce them. It is also funny when they call me and say, “Hello Shad Glaybeel…”:
Today’s job recruiter names:
1. Joshi Ganesh
2. Vinit Rathi
3. Krishna Chaitanya Vempati
4. Faiz Ali Raza
5. Wei Wang
Yesterday’s names:
1. Preethi Vadagule
2. Mohd Faiz
3. Rahul Dhawan
4. Prashant Patel
5. Bala Rudravarapu
6. Bala Peddinti
7. Vipin
8. Simran Kaur
This is NOT an exaggeration. And I have received ZERO listings from a name that sounds English.
The good part is, I am a technical writer that speaks/writes English as a native language. These people will always need someone like me. The sad part is, when interviewing with these people, when you can actually UNDERSTAND them on the phone, they have no concept of geography. They think Pittsburgh is a 5 minute walk up the road from Philadelphia. Sure, they think its no problem for you to uproot your entire existence to work 500 miles away on a 3 month long contract with no benefits and a wage that makes the janitor laugh.
Folks, this stuff makes me hate america SO MUCH its disgusting.
Keep It “Rill” Baltimore!
They be gettin wic welfare n everything else!!!
Ahhh Maryland. So classy. We sure know how to prop up our rich dont we! Then this crap is running wild. Tax me harder Maryland. I love being your bitch!
SHAMEFUL AND PATHETIC, NOT ON THE CITY BUT THE WHOLE STATE!
(AND i’m in love with the commentator… “deuces”)
Eighth Release from Hozpitality!!! We’re BACK!
Inspired by this quote:
My interest in making music has been to create something that does not exist that I would like to listen to, not because I wanted a job as a musician. I wanted to hear music that had not yet happened, by putting together things that suggested a new thing which did not yet exist. It’s like having a ready-made formula if you are able to read it.
— Brian Eno
Track List
- Synchroid Inclusion (2:30)
CeMeGo “barely” tries to play bass guitar on this one. This uses the Synchroid phone application for bleep bleep music fun. - Waka Waka (3:41)
A pre-built rhythm on the Korg Electribe S causes Brian and CeMeGo to break out in a crazy jam. Brian plays the spooky atmospheric phone app Caustic. - Nicky Anus (3:21)
MsNeeBo tells the story of what it would be like to be married to a guy named Nicky Anus. This also happens to be her fictitious hockey player in NHL 2014 for the PlayStation. - The Mean Streets (8:12)
Another pre-built rhythm on the Korg Electribe S. Brian does the spooky atmosphere and occaisional melody on the phone app Caustic. CeMeGo pointlessly mashes pads on the Electribe and Kaossilator. - Hipster Roller Rink (2:43)
Started as an instrumental track by CeMeGo. MsNeeBo and Bitchin Bob demanded a vocal. This was the result. (BitchinBob channels Fred Schneider). - NDAD (1:30)
“Neighbors Dogs are Dicks”. This is an actual recording of the chorus of dog barkings behind MsNeeBo’s house on a lovely fall evening. This uses the Kruud VST synthesizer/sequencer on the Korg Microkey for quirky melody. Hang in for the rockin’ break down on the last half of the track. - Jagdeesh Donuts (4:03)
A Dunkin Donuts in Eldersburg, MD has an annoying order taker with the name “Jagdeesh” who always yells your order back at you. He’s very aggressive. MsNeeBo hit the drive thru with a recording device. Magic ensues with Sweet Tea and Cream Cheese. - Black Friday(Get Behind Me) (3:03)
This was recorded around Christmas 2013. MsNeeBo and CeMeGo playing with the magic of synthetically tortured voices on the Kaossilator. A song about Christmas shopping riots with a rhythmic electronic “bop” for good measure. - Godwins (6:56)
Heavy distortion lovers rejoice!! BitchinBob on electric guitar and CeMeGo on bass guitar flailing and reverb/delay smashing. BitchinBob reveals the true nature of biblical doctrine at the end in “evil satan voice”. Thought of the day: “Things that don’t work properly will now become things that DO work properly.” Fortunately “God Wins!”
Personnel:
Bitchin Bob: Voices, Guitar, Synth, Phone, Tablet, Percussion
CeMeGo: Voices, Bass, Synth, Phone, Percussion
MsNeeBo: Voices, Synth, Percussion
Brian: Synth, Phone
Tools used:
Ableton Live 9 Suite (too complicated!)
A bunch of .VST files (Virtual Studio Technology)
Adobe Audition (too useful unfortunately!)
Caustic (Phone App)
Custom Built Joe Kaufman Fender Stratocaster
Fender Aerodyne Bass
Korg Electribe Sampler 2
Korg Mini-KP
Korg Kaossilator Pro
Korg Kaossilator
Korg MicroKey
Sony Acid Pro 7 (new computer/less crashes)
Synchroid (Phone App)
Click here to download the album in a zip file with cover art (34 megs).
We still don’t make money off of this crap. We do it for pleasure! The best compensation would be a comment or review right here on this blog again. Hozpitality thanks YOU (and your Nicky Anus)!
DC Sucks.. And I Think This Guy Figured It Out
Stumbled over these on the innernets… This guy has totally figured out DC. Brings to mind my previous posting…
Check out his video about Arlington, VA:
or even better… watch his video about the DC Metro (and the worthless overpriced dangerous piece of shit that it is).
How to Start a Business by Dwight Schrute from The Office
This made me laugh..
(fromThe Office-809)and a nice animated gif to boot!
UPDATED! DC Sucks! Let’s Count The Ways…(NOW With Mike O’meara Show audio)
UPDATE (6/5/2015): The legendary and monolithic Mike O’meara Show podcast read this blog post on their podcast. I was driving with MsNeeBo to Atlantic City, NJ for the weekend and heard this while driving on the Black Horse Pike. I nearly had a heart attack! Many THANK YOU’S to my favorite broadcasting gods, The Mike O’Meara Show. (Go shop at their god damned Amazon page)
Here we go with the list so far… Feel free to add in comments! NO REPEATS! (I may do another list for MD and VA as some of these issues leach over into both states).
- Bad traffic
- Rude opportunistic people
- Poor work ethic
- Everyone thinks they’re entitled i.e., “Dont you know who i am?!!”
- The food sucks
- Not a single good pizza in all of DC, MD or VA
- Yes washington dc sucks, but MD and VA are definitely contributors to the suck.
- Extremely high prices.
- One of the most expensive nights on the town.
- Nights on the town suck.
- The subways dont go to places, they go to parking garages and office buildings and businesses that close at 5.
- The parking police are high (literally. They cant even correctly type a license plate number, and they fine you for legally parking your vehicle thus sending you to court to fight a stupid ticket).
- The people are completely incapable of driving correctly.
- (Because of Maryland drivers) everyone drives in the left lane and makes right hand turns from it.
- (Because of Virginia) everyone drives with their turn signal on when not turning and drives entirely too slow.
- Extremely high taxes (for infrastructure that sucks).
- (probably mostly a maryland thing but) The power goes out a lot.
- (probably a virginia thing but) Full of racist evil conservative religious zealot republicans.
- The zoo is lame.
- The water tastes really bad.
- The weather sucks (no spring or fall, goes right into winter/summer).
- Stinky nasty humidity all summer and the air rarely moves.
- The subway is extremely expensive.
- The subway is extremely dirty.
- The subway is extremely slow and inconsistent.
- The subway is ugly (no! it is not beautiful… and who cares how it looks when it is always delayed or broken down).
- The subway is just plain dangerous.
- The radio stations suck (all pop and political / sports talk).
- Too many alcoholic rich people (who act like idiots).
- Overcrowded (and they just keep building overpriced housing to bring in the rich entitled douche bags).
- Not enough grocery stores to match the population (so they’re always out of stuff).
- Some people are stupid enough to be proud to live here.
- It is not a city, it is a facility.
- It is not “world class” it is “world ass”. Everyone from all over the world comes here to be an overpaid asshole!
- It’s too far from an ocean.
- It’s like living with an international terrorist target on your ass.
- Unsafe on a local and international level.
- Too many police forces covering too small of an area and still crime is rampant and it isn’t safe at all.
- The general public in DC is really stupid. (Proof: They have an announcement on the Metro that instructs the public how to use the ESCALATOR).
- The traffic circles are not beautiful or helpful. They just plain suck.
- The design of the city is meant only for horses.
- All of DC, MD, and VA are built for cars ONLY yet they claim to be pedestrian friendly.
- Nobody cares about their local sports teams (the fans aren’t fans, they just think it’s a night out on the town and they dont care if their teams win or lose).
- Their sports teams suck.
- The beltway is a useless parking lot.
- There is no effective way to access DC from the north.
- Highest rent (you might as well live in NYC. At least you would have some entertainment value for the high prices).
- Their baseball stadium is ugly and looks like a prison from the outside.
- The DC opened a trolley system that doesn’t take any passengers, yet runs 24/7 and clogs up traffic. This is not some sick joke. It really exists and does nothing!!
- Their football stadium for their team isn’t even in their city (The Laurel, Maryland Redskins).
- Their football team has a racist offensive name.
- The river that runs through the city is disgusting and stinky and stagnant (BOTH OF THEM: potomac and anacostia).
- The subway has so many stops and no express (so it takes forever to get to anywhere – if the subway actually WENT somewhere).
- The subway only has 2 tracks (so if a train breaks down its a disaster for the entire system, and it happens daily).
- Income disparity is disgusting. (Probably a Maryland thing but, slums on one side of the street, and mansions on the other).
Song of The Week or Moment (Roy Ayers-The Freaky Deaky)
I would just like to say, we get an excellent bargain here.
Not ONLY do we get THE freaky deaky …
BUT ALSO…
THE fonky donkey..
I mean, what more could you ask for? How about a poll?
Loading ...Can you imagine?
In the words of Big Uncle Joe Biden, “This is a very big fuckin deal, right here.”
Note: The wonderful stylish bathrobe hallway bead outfit Mr. Roy Ayers is sportin. Man is ALL CLASS! Makes Jay-Z look like cheap breakfast cereal.