I know, as soon as the word “Facebook” appears as the title of a post, some of us out there will roll the eyes, shake the head and have the “thats what you get” attitude for even dealing with that excuse of electrons…but for some of us its purely a way to keep in touch with friends and family, and a way to waste time.

So this morning as I methodically went through my compulsive list of sites I visit, all let me in except for one.  Facebook.

It seems that FAILBOOK (a.k.a. Facebook from here on out) has disabled my account for being flagged, well here read the description:

“Fake accounts are a violation of our Statement of Rights and Responsibilities. All accounts must abide by the following policies:
You must provide your real first name and last name.
Impersonating anyone or anything is prohibited.
You are not allowed to create multiple accounts that exist solely for the usage of Facebook Platform applications. It is a violation of Facebook policy to maintain more than one account on the site.
Profiles created to represent celebrities, pets, ideas, or inanimate objects are strictly prohibited.
Profiles created for the purpose of spamming or harassing others are strictly prohibited.People on Facebook want to interact with their real friends and the people they know in the real world. Since fake accounts can damage the integrity of this environment, they are not allowed to remain on the site”

In order for me to re able my account, they want me to send them a copy of or picture of a governmental issued ID. In other words, I DO NOT EXIST. Does this still mean I have to pay my bills if FAILBOOK doesn’t think I am a real person?

Let’s face it.  In today’s society, people are getting hired, fired, laid, married, divorced, elected, etc, all by being a tool for a “free” service that is far from free.  Rants, bitches, and the day to day bullshit of our lives are based on these things being shared with the world of our friends, families, and groupies.  Sometimes, its just to say hey on the fly to a good friend or family member whom you miss.  Either way, people do it for many reasons, but the biggest is probably a sense of belonging to a group.

So this morning, FAILBOOK broke up with me.  Maybe my life was so good, they couldn’t believe it and had to kick me out?  Maybe I am too much of a nerd?  Maybe it was because I did not play any of their virus ridden games?  Maybe it was because I failed to keep up with the old boyfriend searches or the countless spam FAILBOOK dating emails sent to my email account?  Who knows?  All I know is, that I do not belong anymore.  And in a way, it feels good.

UPDATE: FAILBOOK now says it was a “selective” bug in their security that targeted female participants. According to the article, I wish they would have contacted me because I would say: FUCK YOU I STILL DON’T WANT TO USE YOUR SITE ANYMORE. ASSHOLES.