4 Minutes of Phone Ambience

Had the start of this laying around on the hard drive for months. It was improvised with no clicks (BPM setting). The phone beep/rhythm was done on the Kaossilator pro first live with fingers (no real looping). The strings were made with the MicroKorg. I added the upright bass, some “angelic” type synth vamp and, one of my favorite things, far away piano. Put a few little phasing effects on a few things (including the upright bass) so it travels around the speakers. Suddenly it was BOOM! MAGIC!

Hope you enjoy and it puts you in another place.

Guest Parking (with CHOB)

Nice parking, man!!!

Here’s a song for something we all know.  It’s a  song about parking, traffic, and driving.  Bob doesn’t know what an Oxford comma is but he will learn someday.  Maybe after 10 minutes of listening to Guest Parking?  Maybe you can learn something toe?

Hope you like it.  Use headphones!

NEW!Completely jive and pointless lyrics below!NEW!

Now the next step is picking a spot for parking
So lets pick a spot first
Lets say we want to park here
So whatever spot you pick for parking
You want to count that spot as number
ONE.
Then you drive forward to the next spot
And count that spot as number
TWO.
Then you drive up one more spot
And count that spot as number
THREE.
Don’t worry I’m not gonna take you back to kindergarten
And make you count up to
HUNDRED.
Fa fa fa fa…
After printing this parking permit
please make sure it is displayed
in the front dashboard
of your guest vehicle.
All guest parking is
located on the 4th floor
marked with “visitor”.
Guests that park in any other spaces
may be towed.
If you need to make changes to
your reservation or
you have any questions
please contact ussssss.
Parking is at your own
risk.
Management is not
responsible
For theft or damage to
vehicle.
Valid for 24 hours
only.
All guest parking is located
on the 4th floor
and marked with “visitor.”
Guests that park in any other spaces
may be
towed.
May be
towed.
For now we’ll stop
HERE.

Selfish Political Optics (I Don’t Apologize For It)

A new hit! Guest starring (or like the hip hop people say “feat.”) Chris Christie and drums by Rush’s Neil Peart!

You gotta love a hated politician that doesn’t give a shit about his constituents.  And the funny part is, people are RAGING about him lately, but, if you aren’t completely politically myopic, you could see this in his behavior since he was first elected.  I guess the republicans in New Jersey are completely idiotic, until crap like this is brazenly shoved down their throat in the media.

Either way, this song is HERE TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND the man and the SELFISH EGO that is Chris Christie.  Let us all hope after this, he just GOES AWAY!!!

Created this with:

  • Korg Volca bass
  • Korg Volca Keys
  • Korg MiniKP(red box)
  • Korg MicroKorg
  • Ableton Live
  • Adobe Audition
  • Audacity
  • Novation Launchpad
  • A sampled drum fill from Rush’s track “Red Lenses” (from the “Grace Under Pressure” album)

This took about 4 hours to do.  This was tons of fun.  Listen in headphones “cause they’re really gonna help you on this one…”

So How Is The Job Hunt Going?

A listing for a technical writer position came up in Rockville. SIX different “recruiters” called me for it.

  • All offering different lengths of contract.
  • Some showed a salary range and some didn’t.
  • Some of them called BEFORE sending a job description i.e., “cold called.”
  • 3 left a message.

This was the one that I could understand the most. This is an example of one of the “great” recruiters in “America” that are the “Warriors of My Future” who will save me from homelessness in this “great” nation. These are the people who control my future and destiny and stand between me and that all so important encompassing enthralling career move that will change my life and make things better for me.

Let’s just listen to the magic and hope for my future.

Think I have any hope? At all?

Do you have a clearer understanding of my “attitude”?

I get this at a rate between 6-12 interactions a day. I’ve had these and answered them and tried to work with them now for 7 months. Do you think these are actual jobs? Any thoughts at all about this would be interesting from anyone. I’ve already emailed 2 congressman about this with no responses.

All I can say is WHAT THE HELL?!?!

UPDATE: I just had a job description that asked if “Any time planned off next few months (Dr appointments, Vacations, etc.)? ”

I replied with “I may get sick. I am human. I do not “need” a vacation ever, but it may be difficult to come to work constantly with no time away. Once again, I am human.”

“Fighting The Cyber”

I am no expert in Cyber Security. I do sort of have an understanding of technical jargon. It kills me or literally sickens me, when senior Trump administration officials refer to Cyber Security as “Fighting the Cyber”.

This sounds like a stupid alien race from Star Trek.

I heard this today in a video posted on CNN.

This atrocity of the English language was perpetrated by Steve Mnuchin, Trump’s treasury secretary.

Secretary Mnuchin Fighting The Cyber

I can completely understand the lack of understanding of what it takes to work on Cyber Security infrastructure. It is a daunting and complex task. But saying things like “fight cyber” shows a lack of understanding AND A CLEAR LACK OF CONCERN AND LAZINESS TO THE POINT OF NOT EVEN WORDING IT CORRECTLY.

People in power that treat issues like this with this public level of impotent concern should be fired. I know I would be fired or at least publicly shamed for it.

High paid glory sucking idiots !!! This is the freaking TREASURY SECRETARY. He better start understanding this terminology and learning to use it correctly at least in public statements. It’s terrifying that someone in charge of money doesn’t even understand how to use this term correctly in common dialect. SHAME SHAME SHAME!

Volcanoid

Korg Volca Bass, Keys, & Beats

I was in the mood to mess with my much neglected Korg Volca Bass, Keys & Beats synthesizer/sequencers. I needed more analog in my life I guess. So I did this stupid mindless jam on the Volcas then augmented it with some MicroKorg solos and some Ableton MIDI sounds. I even looped some MicroKorg into the Korg Kaossilator. If all this sounds confusing, it is probably because it was. The whole thing is a mess but it was fun to do. This was done at 110 bpm (like that matters).

Enjoy Volcanoid !!!
(as always this is best in headphones or in a car).

EXCEPTIONAL REMIX !!!


WHAT A MESS!!! Many people have said, to mix up the thing or things.

So they say, “OH NO! He’s mixing things up again!” Because, you know, thats what they say. And I mean that, believe me!

SAD!

But we DID mix it up anyways, because, ya know, I thought it was good and smart and talented and successful. Full of common sense. Strong, passionate, powerful, and with great verve. A TRUE PATRIOT !!

NOT PARTICULARLY EXCEPTIONAL !!!


THIS, I can tell you, the very poorly educated individual, or individuals, behind this disaster will be prosecuted.

JAIL!

BELIEVE ME !!!

EXCEPTIONAL !!!

THIS is ONE EXCEPTIONAL CAKE !!!
MOST PEOPLE are telling me THIS track IS THE BEST SONG IN THE WORLD. And I personally, can tell you, that THIS IS TRULY….EXCEPTIONAL !!!