Folks, the list grows daily. Put this up there with great job listing terms like “ability to self municate”.

The listing du jour follows:

“Master storytellerable to craft a master narrative cohering an entire curriculum; able to write stories that relate the unknown to the known; able to create immersive, narrative-driven, learning experiences that expose learners to new beliefs or reframe current beliefs that drive effective behaviors; able to simplify and rationalize the complex and irrational.”

What the hell is “Master storytellerable”??   I’m serious folks.  This was in a job requirement.  This sounds like they want you to create some sort of Romulan brain torture device.  REEEEEDICULOUS!!!

A possible rewrite would be:

“Able to change republicans to democrats and straights to gays.   Able to see into the future without a crystal ball and be held accountable for this.  Make lazy people energized with stuff that makes them lazy in the first place.  Change Christians into Atheists at the wave of a wand.  (and lets not forget)  Spoon feed the lazy and the rich.”

I am now going to crawl into bed and cry!