Category Archives: Chronicles of the Absurd

Zodiac Schmodiac!

I think a bunch of people in funny clothes, with funny hairdos, who don’t know the slightest thing about soap just decided to get more attention.

Apparently some unwashed dork thought it’d be cool to add another sign to the zodiac. The new one is called “Ophiuchus”, like leo the lion or cancer the crab, this is probably like some stupid space-turnip. Here’s the article so you can pretend it has ANY affect on your life whatsoever.

http://io9.com/5733004/your-zodiac-sign-may-have-changed-this-week

Apparently leo’s and virgo’s are the only ones this works on. Will is now a Leo. My Mom is a Leo.

Whoop dee dang doodlee doo!

(The only significance is that someone close to me had to call me excited and tell me about it! Hahahaha!)

Chronicles of the Absurd-Who Knew?

There is nothing like a door ding or a fall time kamikaze acorn bombardment to brighten the day of any car owner.  Saw this nifty little trick and thought I might pass it on.

I may even try it on my almost vintage Honda accord a.k.a. the Green Machine to see if it really works. The only problem is that if it does, I’m on the hook for a lot of computer cleaners…

Chicago is Freakin Cold!!! EEEK!

Spent the first time in my life actually IN Chicago for a few days thanks to Will and Spamalot.

Stayed at the Comfort Inn & Suites on E. Ohio St. in Chicago.

Not a bad hotel but had a totally USELESS couch in the living room.  It was like a small broken fold out bed love seat thing.  The cushions didn’t even match the couch.  It was like dumpster reject furniture.  Word of advice for this hotel:

Look, you are a hotel in a very VERY cold city.  People sometimes just want to stay in the room instead of go out into the “balmy” 10 degrees you got flyin around your streets.  This means your TV’s/Internet will be used and so will the couch!  If the couch sucks, don’t synthesize a passable one from other broken couches… THROW THE DAMN THING OUT!

This obviously didn’t occur to them because you couldn’t sit on the couch for longer than 5 minutes without severe back pain or a wedgie!

Other than the couch, the hotel was pretty nice.  Beds were clean and comfortable and bathroom was clean and shower had great pressure.  The view from the room was pretty cool too!

Click for a big picture
View from Comfort Inn and Suites Chicago. Click to download a better image!

Had a great visit to the skydeck at the Willis Tower (the former Sears Tower).  It was 103 stories up.  (And NO, the skydeck was not “calling to me” as the stupid website would say.  I just like tall buildings.  (Stupid marketing copyrighting dorks!!))  The elevator ride was wobbly and scary.  The view was incredible.  I took a few pictures and tried to make a “connecto picture” like I did in Atlantic City. This is out the north east side of the Willis/Sears tower overlooking the city with hancock tower (black tower), trump tower (silver tower), and lake michigan (big blue body of water!)

Click for a biggy version!
Northeast view from Sears/Willis Tower! It's a "Connecto-pic" ala cell phone! Click to download a better image!

Also did the thing at the tower where you can walk out on the glass box and look straight down.  It’s really creepy.  I found looking up at the very top edge of the building to be the most dizzying.  Looking down at your shoes was pretty common:

Looking out the side of the glass box to the OTHER glass box made ya kinda queezy.  Seeing the city from 103 stories up BEHIND other people floating on the side of the building was pretty sick!

In summary, had a great time.  It was REALLY nice to see/spend time with Will.  He made all sorts of fun arrangements so we could get around and see as much as we could despite the cold weather.  (MY GOD PEOPLE, IT’S THE COLDEST PLACE I’VE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE!  I DON’T SEE HOW PEOPLE LIVE THERE!)

I must say, the ride to and from Chicago was really fun!  I took 476 north from Philly then I-80 all the way across.  Witnessed some very beautiful mountains and very bizarre weather patterns.  My car looks like a salt lick right now (real pretty on a black car).  It was an 800 mile commute one way.  Took a perfect 12 hours each way.  Not bad!  Had to fill my tank 3 times each way.

Indiana still has the best turnpike with the 70 mph speed limit but their self serve “insert dollar into the sucker” tool booths suck.

Stupid Toll Booths

Ohio still smells funny and takes forever to drive through.

Stinky Ohio

And I still wasn’t “welcomed” by a sign or anything into Illinois!

NO! You are NOT welcome!

So there is my Chicago trip in review!  Sorry about the reused graphics, but somebody has gotta recycle around here!  Shiz!

Way to go NASA!

With all the hate going towards the government and anything it pays, yet still cashing their checks these days, the rocket scientists at NASA announce that they have “an astrobiology finding that will impact the search for evidence of extraterrestrial life ” that exists in arsenic ponds on….Mars?….Venus?…no Earth.

If life can exist in arsenic ponds here, it has to on other worlds which contain arsenic. And oxygen. And carbon. And nitrogen. And water. So, when looking for other life, we need to look for other Earths right? So how is this a breakthrough? In a time when space travel, space telescopes, space shuttles, and even NASA itself is on the chopping block, this is not the kind of PR campaign that is going to keep your doors open and keep the enlightenment of finding out about the universe we live in ALIVE from the those whom want us to live in the DARK and under the FEAR of an all seeing and all knowing celestial dictator.