Tag Archives: angry hot dog

UPDATED! DC Sucks! Let’s Count The Ways…(NOW With Mike O’meara Show audio)

UPDATE (6/5/2015): The legendary and monolithic Mike O’meara Show podcast read this blog post on their podcast. I was driving with MsNeeBo to Atlantic City, NJ for the weekend and heard this while driving on the Black Horse Pike. I nearly had a heart attack! Many THANK YOU’S to my favorite broadcasting gods, The Mike O’Meara Show. (Go shop at their god damned Amazon page)

DC Sucks!

Here we go with the list so far… Feel free to add in comments! NO REPEATS!  (I may do another list for MD and VA as some of these issues leach over into both states).

  1. Bad traffic
  2. Rude opportunistic people
  3. Poor work ethic
  4. Everyone thinks they’re entitled i.e., “Dont you know who i am?!!”
  5. The food sucks
  6. Not a single good pizza in all of DC, MD or VA
  7. Yes washington dc sucks, but MD and VA are definitely contributors to the suck.
  8. Extremely high prices.
  9. One of the most expensive nights on the town.
  10. Nights on the town suck.
  11. The subways dont go to places, they go to parking garages and office buildings and businesses that close at 5.
  12. The parking police are high (literally. They cant even correctly type a license plate number, and they fine you for legally parking your vehicle thus sending you to court to fight a stupid ticket).
  13.  The people are completely incapable of driving correctly.
  14. (Because of Maryland drivers) everyone drives in the left lane and makes right hand turns from it.
  15. (Because of Virginia) everyone drives with their turn signal on when not turning and drives entirely too slow.
  16. Extremely high taxes (for infrastructure that sucks).
  17. (probably mostly a maryland thing but) The power goes out a lot.
  18. (probably a virginia thing but) Full of racist evil conservative religious zealot republicans.
  19. The zoo is lame.
  20. The water tastes really bad.
  21. The weather sucks (no spring or fall, goes right into winter/summer).
  22. Stinky nasty humidity all summer and the air rarely moves.
  23. The subway is extremely expensive.
  24. The subway is extremely dirty.
  25. The subway is extremely slow and inconsistent.
  26. The subway is ugly (no! it is not beautiful… and who cares how it looks when it is always delayed or broken down).
  27. The subway is just plain dangerous.
  28. The radio stations suck (all pop and political / sports talk).
  29. Too many alcoholic rich people (who act like idiots).
  30. Overcrowded (and they just keep building overpriced housing to bring in the rich entitled douche bags).
  31. Not enough grocery stores to match the population (so they’re always out of stuff).
  32. Some people are stupid enough to be proud to live here.
  33. It is not a city, it is a facility.
  34. It is not “world class” it is “world ass”. Everyone from all over the world comes here to be an overpaid asshole!
  35. It’s too far from an ocean.
  36. It’s like living with an international terrorist target on your ass.
  37. Unsafe on a local and international level.
  38. Too many police forces covering too small of an area and still crime is rampant and it isn’t safe at all.
  39. The general public in DC is really stupid. (Proof: They have an announcement on the Metro that instructs the public how to use the ESCALATOR).
  40. The traffic circles are not beautiful or helpful. They just plain suck.
  41. The design of the city is meant only for horses.
  42. All of DC, MD, and VA are built for cars ONLY yet they claim to be pedestrian friendly.
  43. Nobody cares about their local sports teams (the fans aren’t fans, they just think it’s a night out on the town and they dont care if their teams win or lose).
  44. Their sports teams suck.
  45. The beltway is a useless parking lot.
  46. There is no effective way to access DC from the north.
  47. Highest rent (you might as well live in NYC. At least you would have some entertainment value for the high prices).
  48. Their baseball stadium is ugly and looks like a prison from the outside.
  49. The DC opened a trolley system that doesn’t take any passengers, yet runs 24/7 and clogs up traffic. This is not some sick joke. It really exists and does nothing!!
  50. Their football stadium for their team isn’t even in their city (The  Laurel, Maryland Redskins).
  51. Their football team has a racist offensive name.
  52. The river that runs through the city is disgusting and stinky and stagnant (BOTH OF THEM:  potomac and anacostia).
  53. The subway has so many stops and no express (so it takes forever to get to anywhere – if the subway actually WENT somewhere).
  54. The subway only has 2 tracks (so if a train breaks down its a disaster for the entire system, and it happens daily).
  55. Income disparity is disgusting.  (Probably a Maryland thing but, slums on one side of the street, and mansions on the other).

Apartment Living in The DC Metro Area Part 2

avalonbird

I sent this as a maintenance request this morning:

SUBJECT:  Bird chopped up in bathroom fan vent?

This morning when I turned on the vent in my bathroom, feathers shot out of it. I am assuming because the weather is cold animals have been seeking shelter in any warm access possible. Now the bathroom vent wont work probably because of a dead animal in it. (It’s making my cat crazy).

At writing, the thing is still scrambling around in there.  I can hear it.  Gladys is FREAKING OUT!

Anticipation!

Here is the bird after extraction.

avalonbird2

Apartment Living in The DC Metro Area Part 1

 

avplayplaceracetrack

I sent this email to building management this morning:

SUBJECT: Hallway etiquette, or How can we say this nicely?

Since I have been living here at Avalon at Grosvenor Station, I have noticed some behavior in the hallways that seems to be acceptable and I do not understand how this is reasonable:

1. Every weekday morning (6:50am) and evening (4:30pm) it is apparently ok to let your kids run screaming, yelling, chanting or stomping as loudly as possible in the hallways. This is similar to releasing your hyper children into a McDonalds play place. So apparently the halls of Avalon Grosvenor are a place to allow your kids to have a discipline free LOUD wild run in the hallway EVERY WORKDAY.

2. Apparently if the weather is not the best, it is okay to turn the hallway into an exercise yard for your dogs. I guess its okay (and even comical) to let them run up and down the hallway with no leash at top speed chasing each other like it’s a grey hound track.

I had no idea that this was accepted as common courtesy in a shared apartment complex hallway.

Next time, if I come home drunk early in the morning or at any odd hour, I’ll be sure to hire a brass band to march down the hallway and play loudly OR I will allow my cat to use the hallway as a litter box.

I realize that this negligence of others is accepted behavior in Montgomery county and the DC metro area (as I had the unfortunate pleasure of living in this area before and I realize coming back here is not a step up in quality of life). I have grown to consider that, in this area, one cannot expect other people (especially strangers) to be considerate of others. If that was the case, the traffic around here wouldn’t suck so bad.

Do you think I’m out of line by expecting anything different for a common use hallway?

 UPDATE 11:32 AM SAME DAY!

gosvupdate1

UPDATE 11:54 AM SAME DAY!

gosvupdate2

Now I guess I should just wait for the flaming bags of poop and dirty diapers in front of my door.  We’ll keep you updated!

UPDATE 11:57AM SAME DAY!

gosvupdate3

 

Yeah!  Go!  Go!  Go!

This Guy Should Get a Medal for Service to His Country!

… and the smug do goodery comments of the law enforcement in this article, are so transparent and full of PR bullshit, it makes me want to puke!

This boy is a patriot! Give him a medal NOW!

scs

Click for story

He paid restitution to “Xerox State and Local Solutions”.  At least we know our tax sucking corporations wont skip a beat on their crock shit loads of cash flow!

EVIL EVIL EVIL!  Shame on america!

The NFL Can Suck It! BOYCOTT!

footballsux
Ever realize how much taxpayer money is dumped into the already inflated NFL coffers? Not a fan of the NFL and yet you pay taxes for it! A lot of taxes! Mad yet?

Cant fund programs for the poor? Cant help the disabled? Cant treat and cure disease? BUT WE PAY THIS MUCH FOR THE NFL?!?!?!

Mad yet?

Click here and get madder!!!

Are you ready for some football? FOOLS!

Snopes even says they suck! IT’s TRUE!

Is The NFL’s Tax-Exempt Status Corporate Welfare? Click here! Sounds like it to me!

Corporate Welfare Queens!!!

Watch this space. I’m frustrated and may expand this post. Anyone else want to pile on?

(Thanks to Bitchin Bob for the first article!)

Cold Weather = Media Terrorism!

its-cold-out-there.mp3     

batman cold

The Way We Were…

i voted rich

Let’s see where we are now….   A whole new congress under new republican power.

Let us now review where we were 6 years ago (2008) (according to Independent Senator from Vermont Bernie Sanders):

  1. Healthcare only for the rich
  2. Two wars going on (losing combat troops every week).
  3. More people living in poverty than anytime in American history.
  4. More wealth inequality.
  5. Financial system on verge of collapse.
  6. Losing 700,000 jobs a month
  7. 1.4 Trillion dollar deficit (the largest in history).

What the new republican congress will do:

  1. Go after social security (privatize).
  2. Go after Medicare (de-fund).
  3. Major cuts in federal education aid.
  4. Major cuts in nutrition aid.
  5. Major cuts in environmental protection.
  6. Huge tax breaks for the wealthy and large corporations.

What a wonderful world to look forward to.   Go ahead, ask me why I shorten my life by smoking!

Simply Beautiful!

This song represents my daily malaise as a technical writer.  Yeah, sure, grammar doesn’t matter to those of you who do not get paid to mind it.  For those of us who have to put up with and fix everyone’s poor excuses for writing, this song is for us.

Thank you Weird Al Yankovic!

NOTE: Do not correct anything on this blog. I dont get paid to post on here, so I can use any poor language or writing I desire. So F you! I am off the clock when I write on here!