Apparently all the hot cute guys are getting jobs in Vorhees, NJ. Is this the new east coast San Francisco, or Brighton?
Tag Archives: job search
Why America Sucks # 1,348,972,587,298,379
McDonald’s. Fast food. Fast Jobs. 50,000 served in one day.
Low wage dead end jobs, serving up low cost death causing food. An American win win.
Counter/point Countered AKA some politicians are a little less douchebaggy and break less stuff!
Not to simplify things to basics, but this graph shows the Unemployment rate, red being G. W. Bush, and the blue signifying Obama’s time in office. I think this more than indicates a movement in the right direction.
YOKO REFUSES TO DIE!!
Sometimes when I hear Yoko Ono, I think I might actually like today’s music like Lady Gaga and such. But considering that today’s music is such a VISUAL experience, I still find Yoko Ono more entertaining. Maybe it’s just the thought that someone is crazy enough to do something this annoying and stupid. Maybe this is my career future. Although, I don’t think I could do it as long as she does in public and not crack myself up. I guess the insane way in which she takes herself so seriously is the artform? Did that make sense? Does this?!?
Just see if you can handle the length of the whole video. I sat here and laughed my ass off the entire duration of the bit. She sort of starts to “get down” at :33 seconds in but it’s still a tough call. In a world gone completely mad, Yoko Ono is starting to make sense. Be afraid people! Be very afraid! (By the way, it was a butt load of fun just tagging this posting!)
Lets live in a boxcar!
I love our cultural wordsmithing. In the old days the terminology was short and sweet. And it actually meant something.
Consider the following: during the Great Depression, they had PAN HANDLERS. Then they became BUMs. BUMs. TRAMPs and HOBOs eventually turned into that magic ‘catch-all’ HOMELESS; only to wind up as the very modern and very politically correct term DISPLACED PERSONS.
But there are genuine differences between these terms. A hobo is a migratory worker who likes to travel, a tramp travels without working, and a bum does not travel or work. Politically correct ‘catch-all’ terminology actually serves to diminish these folks.
Since most of us are a scant paycheck or two away from the gutter, what the future may hold for us is uncertain at best. Since everything old eventually becomes new again, I suggest that you all familiarize yourselves with this link as it may become useful during the coming economic apocalypse! And when those politically correct literary craftsmen describe your current economic condition by calling you and your family “impecunious denizens”,… well, you heard it here first.
See you on the road!
Same Old Song and Dance (but with better hats)
I have looked at some pictures from the depression unemployment lines and current unemployment lines. Keep in mind another name for an unemployment line these days is a job fair.
Compare these pictures!
Well at least we can say we are a bit more stylish as the nation crumbles. Now I need to go out and get a “say something” hat.
A Job Interview Is a Bullshit Fest!
I have spent 15-20 years of my life going to stupid job interviews that make you get excited and falsely hopeful. I think if most people have had the amount of interviews I have had, they would probably jump off a bridge or cower in the corner of their bed and never see the light of day. One must realize, it is the most demoralizing, motivation stealing, SOUL STEALING, and heartless experience you could ever have. I’ve been to so many of these things, I realize that I am completely unemployable. The experiences are nightmarish.
Comments like (and these are real folks):
- You’re overqualified
- You’re underqualified
- You’re not the right fit (like i’m a piece of clothes or a condom or something)
- You’re too casual (guess I need to wear a tuxedo and pull up in a limo)
- You don’t have that special something
I’m not kidding folks. This kind of bullshit has been following me MY WHOLE CAREER LIFE and at the age of 40, I cant take it anymore!
CNN always puts these stupid “helpful” articles up about things NOT TO SAY in an interview. They are always obvious like:
- What does your company do? (research the company before the interview you idiot)
- How much does the job pay? (just understand they are going to give you a barely survivable wage. they want to rip you off right out of the gate. leave your high hopes at home).
- What are the hours of the position? (realize that you will be their slave and will work when they want you to, and however long they desire. welcome to slavery, fool)
- How many sick days do I get? (YOU GET ONE and if you take more than one they will gossip about you and talk behind your back and set you up to fail).
- How much time do you get off? (None. Don’t expect any for the first 5-10 years of employment if you last that long! God forbid you ask for a vacation, because that’s when they will search for your replacement).
- Do you do background checks? (Only if they don’t want to hire you or are so intimidated by your looks and skills they want to make sure you don’t get in the company at all).
Of course we or I would never ask these stupid questions in an interview because, as you can see above, I already know the answer from years of experience. Once again, the media (in this case CNN) isn’t helping anyone with this stupid article.
HOWEVER…
Because the employment CRISIS IN AMERICA (yes that’s right I said crisis) is so bad, the respondents to the article were quite eloquent and profound. One person responded in this fashion and it’s so true. These questions will definitely offend an interviewer but I have moist dreams about saying them because they are legitimate questions that are more attuned to employment in “Amurka” and the treatment/plight of the working class being subjugated by people who don’t do ANYTHING and make all the money:
- Why are you filling this position from the outside? Is it because you’ve made poor hiring choices so you have no one to choose from or because you have a bad training program?
- What percentage of workers would quit today if they had a chance?
- How much does the CEO & execs earn for every person they lay off?
- How much does this company pay for their government lobbyists to push through bad public legislation in Washington DC?
- How is management evaluated? Quality or quantity of work done?
- What’s the most important thing I should focus on to be successful in this company: good appearance, network connections, ability to BS, taking claim for other’s work, or being in the same golf league as the boss?
- What religious affiliation will solidify my employment at this company?
- Which social networking tool should I be on so you can track my every move and invade my privacy and hold me accountable in the workplace, Facebook, Twitter, or Myspace?
- Is there anything else I should change in my personal NON WORK related time that would qualify me for this position? Political affiliation (republican democrat liberal conservative)? Quit smoking? Turn gay or straight? Drink more? Less? Watch more television? Choose the right sports team?
Let’s face it folks, interviewing for a job these days is about as much of a crap shoot as playing your last retirement cent on a green felt table in Atlantic City. There’s no right way to go to an interview. All I can say is EXPECT NOTHING and if you get ANYTHING or even a job, expect to be treated like shit and thrown out the moment you get hired for some contrived reason even God himself couldn’t explain. It is important to remember, you don’t work for a company or yourself… YOU WORK FOR A PERSON(S) WHO’S GREED IS SO MASSIVE YOU WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND IT UNLESS YOU WON THE LOTTERY AND HATED EVERYONE YOU KNOW.
Remember, we are all here and suffering so the few who have lived large wont have to change their standard of living.
Dog walkers wanted. Must have PhD?
From a self-important post on CRAIGSLIST, advertising employment as a part-time ‘dog walker’; one of those chaps you see walking numerous unruly canines throughout the city.
RE: “Dog Walking” Position The successful candidate must have ALL of the following: working cell phone, prior work references (not your friends or relatives – only professional references will be accepted), car or bike, working internet access/email, outstanding written and verbal communications skills AND a BACHELOR’S DEGREE!
A Bachelors Degree,…to walk dogs! No mention of either ‘must love dogs’ or ‘must love animals’ …. No mention of the prerequisite physical stamina needed to herd a gaggle of caffeinated Jack Russell Terriers through a public park! No,…
My response Subject: You must be kidding!
Ok, I understand everything in your ad up to a point. Communicating is important. References and transportation to and from the job is important. I’ll give you a pass on requiring “outstanding written and verbal communication skills” after all, what does a dog know besides the verbal ‘Sit’, ‘Stay’ and all that.
But a Bachelors Degree to walk dogs? Simply put: you are quite insane.
Their self-important response which was swift and sure;
“If you look at the qualifications of our walkers and compare them with qualifications of other services’ walkers, they are outstanding. We’re picky and we want our business to be represented well by educated, knowledgeable people, which it is.
Sorry if that offends you.”
Not being one to’ let a sleeping dog lie’ I just had to point out the obvious.
“…It is not an offensive ideal for an employer to want the best possible people.
What is offensive is the ridiculous notion that a Bachelor’s Degree is required to operate a pooper scooper. A bit over-qualified if you ask most people.
Perhaps you should take this foolishness to its logical conclusion and require all your walkers to hold a PhD from one of the Ivys?
Have a nice day….”
I’m still waiting for a response
Confessions of a Cranky Navy Messcook
AH! THE CULINARY ARTS.
It’s getting to the point where I find myself getting irritated just looking at the want ads. Those damnable job posts dripping with that trendy, grandiose culinary hip-speak:
“…passionate foodservice professionals…”
“…exciting position where you can explore your love for food…”
“…bright new star, chef “X”, seeks creative foodies for upscale new bistro…”
“… Dynamic new fusion themed restaurant seeks expressive and innovative culinary craftsmen”
And the most abhorrent mantra of all:
“…Culinary degree preferred…”
Passionate? Exciting? Dynamic? Feh! What occupation are they speaking of?
The Foodservice Industry rarely lends itself to such grandiose adjectives. It’s food, just food! Overstating its importance is like saying with a straight face that
“…John the Baptist spent his days in Biblical wilderness eating an exciting and dynamic mélange of Free-Range Locust, infused with hand-crafted wild honey, produced by local agricultural artisans…”
This is a wholly unromantic occupation. Its practitioners are not expected to broker a lasting peace in the Middle East, or to argue a case before the Supreme Court or put someone’s heart back together in surgery. This is a profession where you are expected to go in and work hard, whilst everyone else is off.
You spend your evenings, holidays and weekends sweating by a stove, an oven, a fryer or a grill feeding very, very picky people. You come home dog tired, smelling bad, covered in food wondering if you’ll hear the alarm to get up and do it all over again the next day.
Quite often you find yourself burned, cut, scarred or hurt in one way or another. Pay is questionable at best, thanks to a recent influx of cheap labor from south of the border. Most benefits like Medical, Dental or 401k are non-existent.
Egoistic chefs, impatient managers, inept servers and thankless owners demand meals from you like you’re some soulless, food-producing automaton. All societal pretension towards the trade aside, the guy in the paper hat at Burger King, technically, qualifies as a ‘passionate foodservice professional”.
No. Passionate, exciting and dynamic are not adjectives you can use with a great level of honesty to describe the culinary arts.
And this premium now being placed on the notion of the culinary degree only adds to the mix. It is loathsome to me that recent trends in the culture have hyperbolized the qualifications for such an inherently unremarkable, blue-collar profession. The perceived grandeur of cooking has been enlarged beyond the bounds of reason.
I learned to cook in the Navy. I took pride in making a tasty 80 gallon pot of chili or being able to help bake fresh bread for 6,000 plus guys every morning. Food was the backbone of morale out at sea, so it damn-well had to be good. It was an honest and unfeigned trade.
This cooking of course was at a time in my life well before the masses were touched by Martha Stewart Inc. or the Food Network. It was a time before Emeril LaGasse or Wolfgang Puck. And things like hamachi sashimi or wasabi aioli were still just a glimmer in Iron Chef Morimoto’s eye.
In the old days, before Starbucks, coffee was coffee. In most places, .50 or .75 got you a bottomless cup. You didn’t have to worry about repeating a bunch of sissified, corporate-invented, pseudo-hip, euro sounding predicates to “The Barista” whilst in line. Same thing applies to ‘The Culinary Arts’. Cooking was like laying bricks or swinging a hammer; it was honest and without pretension. But unlike our brothers who schlep mortar or pound nails, the culinary arts are now obliged to observe the capricious dictate of our inane pop culture.
What am I supposed to like? What’s good? What’s hip? Whatever! Who cares? Ask the ‘Barista’. Ask Craig LeBan. Ask the asshole who runs ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ on TV. Ask Rachel Ray.
Yeah. Go ask Rachel Ray.
I’m not saying I don’t enjoy the occasional serving of the now ubiquitous truffle-infused mashed potatoes or a nice Crispy Long Island Duck Confit. After my stint in the service I’ve spent years learning to do the dance in civilian restaurants, and I do it well. I’ve learned that trends in food come and go. My life experience nowadays points me towards my own personal culinary trend: a feeling which borders on disgust, fluctuating somewhere between professional incredulity and pure crankiness.
I remonstrate the cause of that crankiness: that arrogant, awkward and inexperienced sub-section invading my profession who feel that simply by paying the tuition and attending food programs either at a Johnson and Wales, a Culinary Institute of America or the latest slap-dash Community College culinary arts program will somehow inspire awe amongst an experienced staff and pardon their professional fecklessness in a real working kitchen..
After all, what good really is some clown who pays the $50,000 to complete what in essence is a glorified trade-school? At best, he or she may know the fancy French name for every pot and pan in the kitchen but may have no idea how to bang food out in a smart, efficient fashion on a busy Saturday night.
Whilst the newbie is ensuring his basil is chopped in a fine “chiffonade” and his “Yukon Gold Garlic and Olive Oil Mashed Potatoes” are worthy of the “Legionne d’Honneur”, management relies on the uncredentialled veteran hump to get the food out. Especially on a busy night of culinary combat. If only there was combat pay.
Well can the day be far off when we see those aforementioned honorable tradesmen, the Masons and the Carpenters, clamoring to lay down big bucks to get into their own versions of some highly specialized schools? Can the “Cordon Bleu” School of Bricklaying and Mortar Mixing or the “Paul Bocuse” Institute for Advanced Drywall Hanging Technique be far off?
I should just continue to quietly accept all this, even though the Navy too has changed with the times. Former Mess Management Specialists are now being called “Culinary Specialist”. Trés chic!
It’s only a matter of time before Destroyers and Battleships will be serving heaping helpings of “Pan Seared Diver Scallops with Saffron and Sweet Corn Essence”…
I’m done thinking about it. I’m going for a friggin’ cup of coffee.
How the Hell does that go again?
Grande, Mocha, skinny, light on the foam. (Sigh)