Hello my friends,
Well hasn’t it been an interesting few weeks?
My boyfriend and two friends get jumped by a biggoty fag allowed to stay in a bar.
My Mom almost dies from a bleeding ulcer and has to give up booze and cigs for the rest of her life. And, I’m on the road wondering where the fuck I am.
I’ve got nothing. nothing interesting. you’ve heard the cool shit. New Orleans, Canada, you’ve heard it. The rest is middle of Fuck nowhere USA. It’s all the same, and I guess thats sort of comforting and sad all at the same time.
But. My mom is on the Mend. And, so is Chad, Jeff and Sammy. Summer is coming and I get to go to Rehomo and Philly for 5 whole Days. Then, after that, 3 weeks till I’m off this crazy Spam ride for good. I really can’t wait. I have to live more of my life! I love having a job but being an actor means that I HAVE to change jobs every 6,8, or 12 months. Some people might say, that’s crazy, that’s no way to live. But me…. I love it. Having no idea where I’m gonna be working in a year is hella stressful but…fun never the less.
I’m rambling…
It’s over soon. That’s the point. And I hate bigoted fags in bars.
Memphis was gorgeous even flooded. And I can’t wait for Atlanta and Dallas.
Playing the Fox in Atlanta has been one of my dreams since I was a kid.
Let’s get happy this summer people.
Will
Hope to see you soon!
ps-we turn tragedy into art.
It’s interesting now. We’re coming up on almost 2 weeks after the “incident”. The guy who perpetrated the crime is still at large. We saw him everyday until we went and did a formal police report and now he mysteriously has disappeared from the neighborhood. Think somebody gave him a tip to lay low? I DO!
I have run into certain people in public and they sort of act like nothing happened. Others are still calling my phone and leaving drunken rambling messages that I cant decipher.
I made it very clear the Monday after this event that I am never coming back to that bar. In the past few years or so, I would receive calls asking if I was coming to the bar. I wouldn’t be able to go to the grocery store without being asked if I was coming in for a drink. I would get admonished if I didn’t watch the ball game every night in this bar.
Since “the incident” I have stopped going completely. I have stopped communicating with most regular and employed people in that bar. Interestingly enough, I’m healthier, I’m happier, and I’m less stressed out. When I go out to OTHER bars, I am welcomed and free to decide if i want to drink somewhere else knowing that I wont catch shit because of it.
I think in hindsight, the thing I feel sad about the most is that I didn’t walk away from this place sooner after hearing from friends and family time and time again that being a “regular” at that particular bar would lead to trouble. And the strangers who have asked me about my visible injuries have told me, “well… that place is kinda notorious for that. Why’d you keep going back?” and my answer always is simply, “I was told for years that ‘we got your back’ and called things like ‘friend’, ‘buddy’, and ‘brother’.”
I realize now that they were all just words to get to what little money I had to be blown on alcohol to keep the place open. I cared for the people there. I tried to help them find work, I cried with them, I stressed for them, I fixed computers for them, I recruited customers for them, and I DJ’d for them.
In summary, I don’t have ANY ill will for anyone in that place including the owner, but they NEED TO UNDERSTAND that if you get beat up as a result of the security of the bar, then the place is not safe. And (like one of the employees said last week) “if you knew it was like that, why did you keep coming back?”
Much to my own disappointment in myself, all I can say is, “I thought you were my friends.” And I could fucking kick myself for believing it for seven god damned years. So if anyone lost, it is me. I’ve learned a whole new definition of trust, living in this neighborhood, and I AM SURE THAT I HAVE LEARNED FROM THIS EXPERIENCE AND I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO KEEP THIS FOOLISHNESS FROM HAPPENING AGAIN.
(And I’m sure this will be read by all those involved and printed out in full colour and passed along and talked about for weeks… and if not, i dont care because like i said before I’M DONE WITH THAT PLACE FOR GOOD! Best of luck to all those who remain! Please don’t call! Please don’t email! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!)
Bravo, my friend!
Well said 🙂
As my wonderfully smart and sexy wife put it, Bravo to you my friend. The bars here are always welcoming to you as well as our home. Hope to see you soon!