Category Archives: silly

Apartment Living in The DC Metro Area Part 2

avalonbird

I sent this as a maintenance request this morning:

SUBJECT:  Bird chopped up in bathroom fan vent?

This morning when I turned on the vent in my bathroom, feathers shot out of it. I am assuming because the weather is cold animals have been seeking shelter in any warm access possible. Now the bathroom vent wont work probably because of a dead animal in it. (It’s making my cat crazy).

At writing, the thing is still scrambling around in there.  I can hear it.  Gladys is FREAKING OUT!

Anticipation!

Here is the bird after extraction.

avalonbird2

Welcome to the MTA: Please Mind the Gap

I love New York. Specifically, I love the New York Subway System! The MTA is a combination transportation system, multicultural carnival and general Thunderdome of shit, specifically designed to test your person-hood and your patience at every turn by bombarding you with pure bullshit.

Speaking of bullshit, we turn to our video clip, where we see a patron of the Subway, barely dressed, as a bumblebee, Folks, I’ve been to 3 State Fairs, a Goat Rodeo and several overseas brothels and I must say that I’ve NEVER…. EVER seen anything that compares to this.

He’s good. He’s doing kicks. He dips and dances and moves like a pro. It looks like he spends most of his time onstage doing drag. He can also carry a tune: doing his own rendition of LMFAO’s “I’m Sexy And I Know It”. He gyrates. He booty pops for the crowd. They love him. They are his people. Absolutely mesmerizing, eh? In that costume all I can think of is that old-school subway warning: “Please Mind The Gap”

Now before any more vomit builds up in my throat, it’s been suggested the guy is high out of his mind. I can’t really speculate what drugs he may be on, if any at all. Perhaps we should ask the little EIGHT YEAR OLD CHILD who’s getting a fucking eyeful right there in his front row seat to this shit spectacle. Maybe that kid saw him do some drugs. Maybe not. Either way, …he’s sexy and he knows it.




Media Terrorism = Weather Terrorism

prechristmasweather.mp3     

weatherterror

Click for previous sinister weather terrorism news….

Cold Weather = Media Terrorism!

its-cold-out-there.mp3     

batman cold