Who (or WHAT) would make the best presidential candidate in 2012?
Category Archives: Grinds My Gears
Keeping them Honest
Gloria’s Boy aka Anderson Cooper likes to pride himself on his “AC360” show with his tag line “Keeping them Honest.” Well, if traveling the globe to disaster after disaster for the best photo shot is keeping it honest, then AC is your man. Only if you are a man though.
Here is Gloria’s boy keeping it honest as he leaves the gym with his hot piece. See that look? Oops! AC isn’t keeping it honest. If anything, he has a platform to make his case for his fellow closet suffer. But no. And it is with that, in the words of Edwina Monsoon “I take issue.” Usually I let it go, and see him for what he is; an over privileged, under loved, seeking all of the attention he didn’t get when mommy made jeans through his TV show, closeted homo.
But yesterday evening, I spied a video on his blog made by one of his beard reporters about how contacting a government agency during a government holiday about the oil spill got them no response. I suppose government employees where perhaps at the gym with their secret lovers or off to the Hampton’s to spend the holidays with “mommy?” Why are they not out in front of Senator Mary Landry’s home on this holiday weekend…or Congressman Barton’s home (a Chronicles of the Absurd favorite) asking them why are they not working to solve this little environmental disaster considering they received the highest amounts of campaign money from…you guessed it BP.
I suppose that Gloria’s boy thought this was an “outstanding” piece of investigative journalism, considering he works at a job he needs not even take a salary for. I guess when you can afford to go anywhere you want with anyone you want, it doesn’t become a vacation…how’s that for “keeping them honest.”
A Friend is having a rough time today and most likely for a while to come. He feels like life is too hard live through.
I can’t help him like I want to. what do I do? Thoughts and prays to Buddha people.
A Picture Says A Thousand Words
From the above picture you would think that our President has BP against the wall. CEO Tony Hayward is making the quasi “fist face” and Obama’s got him on the ropes with his “I mean business” pointer thumb. But no. BP is getting off cheap. So just for the hell of it, I googled “what can I buy for $20 billion” and this is what I got.
Wow. The folks on the Gulf Coast will cost BP what Spam costs in terms of the loss of productivity per year. Hmmm. What else? The US Bank Bailout perhaps? A Microsoft Share buyback? Yep. It sounds like its a lot of money to compensate people who have lost their lively hoods, but its really not. It is only the tip of a multi-generational iceberg whose melt rate will overflow in that area for years and years to come.
Joe Biden’s head down says it all. We are screwed.
A waste of a perfectly good dimension
“America’s First modern-technology 3-D newspaper section” proclaimed the Inquirer yesterday. Since I haven’t seen any 3D since I was about 5 years old and had a ViewMaster, I made a trip to the closest Wawa and picked up a copy.
The paper included cardboard glasses, an 8 page section of 3D content, and a small poster of Roy Halladay, the latter all neon-ed out.
How did it look?
Well, the most 3D looking thing of the content was the full page Macy’s ad. The rest was hardly 3D at all. Even the special Roy poster gave little if any 3D effect.
It could be an issue of color separation, since newspaper is notoriously known for poor color registration. Maybe in a magazine this would work, but it’s gonna be a long time before 3D newspaper makes a dent in anything (except my nose from wearing those annoying glasses.
Even when the effect worked, it was very very faint. 3D was much better with the old red-blue glasses! (for what that’s worth)
Imagine, if you will, a busy morning subway commute. Everyone is wearing cardboard 3D glasses with BestBuy emblazoned on the sides, and then opens up their “inq3D” newspaper. That’s a real hoot.
By the time you’re done with one page you’ll already have a migraine.
Dog walkers wanted. Must have PhD?
From a self-important post on CRAIGSLIST, advertising employment as a part-time ‘dog walker’; one of those chaps you see walking numerous unruly canines throughout the city.
RE: “Dog Walking” Position The successful candidate must have ALL of the following: working cell phone, prior work references (not your friends or relatives – only professional references will be accepted), car or bike, working internet access/email, outstanding written and verbal communications skills AND a BACHELOR’S DEGREE!
A Bachelors Degree,…to walk dogs! No mention of either ‘must love dogs’ or ‘must love animals’ …. No mention of the prerequisite physical stamina needed to herd a gaggle of caffeinated Jack Russell Terriers through a public park! No,…
My response Subject: You must be kidding!
Ok, I understand everything in your ad up to a point. Communicating is important. References and transportation to and from the job is important. I’ll give you a pass on requiring “outstanding written and verbal communication skills” after all, what does a dog know besides the verbal ‘Sit’, ‘Stay’ and all that.
But a Bachelors Degree to walk dogs? Simply put: you are quite insane.
Their self-important response which was swift and sure;
“If you look at the qualifications of our walkers and compare them with qualifications of other services’ walkers, they are outstanding. We’re picky and we want our business to be represented well by educated, knowledgeable people, which it is.
Sorry if that offends you.”
Not being one to’ let a sleeping dog lie’ I just had to point out the obvious.
“…It is not an offensive ideal for an employer to want the best possible people.
What is offensive is the ridiculous notion that a Bachelor’s Degree is required to operate a pooper scooper. A bit over-qualified if you ask most people.
Perhaps you should take this foolishness to its logical conclusion and require all your walkers to hold a PhD from one of the Ivys?
Have a nice day….”
I’m still waiting for a response
Funny Signage o The Week!
This sign was spotted on the Rehoboth Beach Delaware boardwalk. The arcade/amusement section of the park is called PLAYLAND and it lost a very important lighted letter. I think with the “L” blown out, the name of the business is more appropriate as “PAYLAND”. Go in, have fun, and PAY PAY PAY!
PowerPoint Can Be A Bitch!
Doing a presentation on presentations this week. I found this comedy bit on PowerPoint abuse that I thought was very funny. I’m surprised more comedians don’t make use of PowerPoint. It is, pretty much, the adult version of an etch-a-sketch.
$76.80 for 1 Gig of data – only from AT&T
… and you need a abacus to figure out how much your bill might be.
AT&T is totally ELIMINATING Unlimited Data Plans. Gone. Poof.
You are allowed to use either 400mb, or 2gb. Because AT&T Knows Best.
I’m switching to Verizon ($6 for 1 gig, max of 5g/month).
Chronicles of the Absurd
BP CEO Tony Hayward is going to start running ads of his apology on national television. The cost of this venture is money that could be going towards the remediation of the Gulf of Mexico and the poor folks who live on its shores. We already know they are sorry. Just in the words of our president “Plug the damn hole!”
The only way that BP is going to solve this issue is if they start working on a time machine. Here’s some ideas BP to get you started:
