All posts by cemego
SPAM ON THE ROAD: O F&%$ing Canada
I am now a temporary citizen on Canada. Im not just saying that cause I’m visiting. I had to pay 200 dollars to become one.
Here’s the story….
So we are crossing the Canadian border right. Everyone has their passports in order, and everything is going smoothly when the officer that was assigned to our bus calls out ” Will Harrell, will you please come into the office. We need to talk to you.”
Oh Shit….out of everyone on the bus, I get called in.
In 2003 I got a speeding ticket in Alabama. I forgot about that ticket, didn’t pay it, and got a failure to appear in court. I paid all my fines, got my licenses renewed and everything was honky dorey. However, when they pull me into the border center they tell me that I am inadmissible to the country because I have a failure to appear on my record.
” Well what can I do?” I ask ” I have to go with the show.”
They tell me that I need to call Alabama and have them fax a document stating that all of this has been resolved. I would have done that except for the fact that Monday was Columbus day, a state holiday. Nobody was at work.
So what the fuck do I do? The border guy just sort of shrugs and I really start to get scared. ” Well, there has to be something we can do.”
Then he says that I can become a temporary Canadian citizen for the duration of our travels between there and the states. ” How much does that cost?” 200 dollars, that’s how much. They won’t take me because I failed to appear in court for a speeding ticket but they’ll take my money, no more questions asked. Needless to say, I paid up and became a temporary hosier. A greasy cheeseburger packing motherfucker.
St. John was beautiful.
New joke for Chef Jeff: What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!
Will
ANOTHER New Track from Hozpitality..
Tonite, Bob and I smashed together another masterwork of audio material. This is the next hit on the new landmark Hozpitality album.
This one is called, “I’m Gonna Put It On My Iphone”
Click here to get your hot and juicy mp3 copy of Hozpitality-I'm Gonna Put This On My IPhone.mp3
Enjoy!
SPAM ON THE ROAD: New England and Bronchitis
The Nat. tour of Spam has been jumping all over Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and Maine this past week. We’ve been playing in small venues which has caused us to cut most of our set and drops and lights. So, we’ve been doing Spam-lite, now with fewer calories.
All that I can handle. I even like the challenge of spacing changes and re blocking for a difficult venue. What I can’t take is getting hurt and sick.
About a week ago, Chad came to visit me in Bethlehem, PA. We had a great ( if short) time together. But, that morning I woke up with a pain in my upper back, shoulder, and arm. Over the next few days the pain increased until I was unable to sleep at night. On top of that, I started to get sick. I went to a Nurse Practitioner in N.H. and she told me I had Bronchitis . Great. So the past few days have been peachy keen. But, She gave me a Zpac which brought my energy back immediately and I started using Ice on my back and arm instead of heat ( which only made the pain worse ) and that is slowly getting better. As I start to recover, the rest of the cast starts to cough, and sniff. Great.
I love what I do and this tour is gonna be great, I know. But right now all I want is Chad, Glaydburger, and the apartment in philly.
The rain continues everywhere.
Soon to bring you a more cheerful post,
Will
Phillies Blunt Shoes!
For all you blunt fans AND all you Phillies fans! While I was searching for Phillies logos to make my previous posting I stumbled over these shoes!
Totally cool! I’d love a pair!
More pics at the link below! Only thing I hate is the way people commented in the article. “Deez shoes” “Phresh” “Must cop a pair”. I’m sorry but I’m not an urban moron who thinks it is stylish to butcher the English language. Nonetheless, they’re cool shoes, “even if ya cant talk right y’all!”
http://www.nicekicks.com/2008/02/phillies-blunt-adidas-superstars/
Ever seen a Wisconsin Steam Devil?
Well here ya go:
Those pictures where taken at Deep Lake in Oxford, Wisconsin. They are known as “Steam Devils” and can occur when outside air temps are at or below freezing and the water temp is still above 60F.
Chronicles of the Absurd-NO.You are NOT like me.
And I don’t want YOUR ads playing in MY state. I have enough to deal with considering the biggest asshole we had for governor wants to try his hand at raising my fees and the toll amounts on the roads I travel by running for office again.
I am SO sick of all of these political ads polluting my morning news. I am SO sick of these out of touch, over pandering liars and their bullshit. You assholes want to impress me and get my vote? Then try living without a bank account for a month and get back with me.
Why is it that we can have over 1000+ different soda, cars, jeans, etc. to choose from, yet we are only subjected to two crappy political parties or their side fringe nut jobs? Welcome to the United States of Absurdity.
This is like Gladys & Ricky all summer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF9fcIqX9XQ&feature=player_embedded
Chronicles of the Absurd
Today’s special winner for the Absurd is brought to you by James O’Keefe. Mr. O’Keefe’s one claim to fame was his ground breaking journalism posing as a pimp trying to get his ho a loan from the ACORN office. You remember him right?
Mr. O’Keefe & friends have been having a hard time lately trying to practice their craft. It seems that after being sent to jail for another attempt at an undercover operation where he and his followers dressed as telephone repairmen to gain entry into a Senator’s office (which resulted in a misdemeanor charge…you can’t mess with a republican senator from New Orleans…there is too much oil money), he under the guise of his (and how do we circumvent paying taxes?) non-profit “Project Veritas” have blown it again. But this time, it was one of his own who blew the whistle.
So, in this day and age of where the punker becomes the punkee, what is one of no scruples to do? How is that intern going to pass that editing class without having that material about CNN to show on Fox News? How is the absurdity going to continue!?! Where is the outrage from the anti-masturbatory matrons? Or the men of faith?
Oh, that’s right. Let’s wait for the fair and balanced reporting to take the lead. I think the real investigative journalism is-who is backing this guy and giving him the money to spend on not only a staff, but also for decking out a porno boat.
Which then begs me to ask…”Is the boat available for weekend rentals?”
SPAM ON THE ROAD: Opening a can of Spam
Well folks, the votes are in and we have a hit. The big bosses, the directors, the newspapers, and the public all love the show. Ticket sales are picking up big time and it looks like we are adding dates left and right. We might even do a sit down for a couple of weeks in Atlantic City after the tour is over. CASINO PAY!!!!!!!!!!!
This show is so much freaking fun. So much! We never stop. I am part of the Ensemble and we never stop. Literally. If we are not on stage we are backstage quick changing and then scrambling back on stage.
The cast is starting to come together quite nicely. Though there are a few who are going to be a little difficult. Egos sure can fuck things up sometimes. But whatever trouble we are having with personalities they are minor in the grand scheme of things.
I’m a little lonely still. I tend to keep to myself. ( which is probably a smart thing at the moment) I miss Chad.
We left Waterbury, CT early this morning and arrived in Morgantown, WV around 5 tonight. One show tomorrow and then it’s off to University City, PA ( THEN TO CHADLY IN BETHLEHEM. I CAN”T FRICKIN WAIT!!!!!!)
Quote of the week: ” BLOW ME……Lies the cave of Cio Banog”
Come see the show ya’ll,
W.