All posts by cemego

Chronicles of the Absurd

Guess whose been taking a little nip of the stupid on the side…Steve Jobs. At first I thought with all the recent solar activity that the I-Sun was sabotaging the fruit fuhrer’s new 4-G i-phone. But no. I was wrong. Turns out, it was the USER all along.

I suppose there is no need for Steve Jobs to say its due to poor design quality, rush to production, etc. That would mean that his products are really no different in their functionality, reliability, and longevity then their competitors. Hmmm…maybe Steve Jobs thinks all of us are the ones taking the stupid…think again fruit fuhrer.

I think the more important issue surrounding the new 4-G i-phone is Will It Blend?

Please Pray for Dick


Seems the robot heart is shorting out. Perhaps its from the high density of the solar wind right now or more likely a drop in his massive BP/Hallibuton stock. Either way, you know the republican Jesus has a special place for Dick in his heart.

I wonder if Glenn Beck will weep and start a prayer chain and blame Dick’s cold black robot heart short out as a murder conspiracy by liberal Nazi covert 9 volt battery shock assassins. *sigh*

Chronicles of The Absurd

Today’s winner of absurdity comes from none other then our own EPA. An unnamed governmental agency released a report today saying that they have detected a “cloud of oil” about 3,300 to up to 4,600 feet deep which stretches away from the well head for about 6 miles. The EPA says that there has been “no significant harm to sea life” from this plume.

Like the fish above, I am wondering what absurdities will have to occur to cause what they classify as “significant harm” to the sea life? Meanwhile, back in reality, people are being filmed trying to rescue dolphins in vain off of the beaches in the gulf. Not to mention the articles on the amounts of sharks, rays, and other large predators along with their prey fleeing to shallow waters close to shore.

My advice for the EPA would be to get its head out of Sarah Palin’s medicine cabinet and start coming to terms with one of the worse environmental disasters in I-Earth’s history.

Space Weather Alert

The I-Sun must have gotten its prescription for Valtrex filled cause Sunspot 1081 has cleared up. Sunspot 1082 is still flaring, however its position on the I-Sun offers no threat to the I-Earth. (Trademarking that as well as I-Sun. Take that Steve Jobs.)

The folks aboard the International Space Station snapped these pics last month when a CME lit up the I-Earth over the Indian Ocean like a club kid on E with glow sticks. (Do they still do that?)

“The bright display of Southern Lights was sparked by a solar coronal mass ejection (CME), which hit Earth’s magnetic field and sparked a G1-class geomagnetic storm. On the other end of the planet, the same storm produced bright Northern Lights over Wisconsin, Minnesota and parts of Canada. Both poles were ringed in light at the same time.”

The next solar wind storm is scheduled to hit I-Earth’s magnetic field on 26 Jun…so watch out for dropped calls and straight to voice mail phone issues….

Space Weather Alert

The I-Sun is having a flare up.  Sunspot 1082 is erupting with small flares. These flares are what scientists classify as “B-Class” flares.  These flares explode with the magnitude of about 10 million atomic bombs.

The real nasty I-Sun sunspot flare ups are the “X-Class” flares. These flares explode with an intensity that is thousands of times greater then the “B-Class” flares, and are the types of solar flares that will burn off our ozone layer and cause us to have a really…really bad day. Scientists predict that the those type of flares will become more common once the I-Sun hits its Solar Maximum in 2013.

So start digging your underground I-Sun protection pod today.

Chronicles of The Absurd

I actually watched today’s winner live on CSPAN and I couldn’t believe my luck! Thank you Rep. Baton R-Tex. You have given me my absurd word of the day: SHAKEDOWN.

Here, I was thinking that BP got off relatively easy with the setting up of a fund (only $5 billion per year for the next 4 years) of $20 billion. Guess I’m more gangsta then the President!

Maybe this is how the Congressman from Texas thinks it all went down at the White House yesterday…

A Picture Says A Thousand Words

From the above picture you would think that our President has BP against the wall. CEO Tony Hayward is making the quasi “fist face” and Obama’s got him on the ropes with his “I mean business” pointer thumb. But no. BP is getting off cheap. So just for the hell of it, I googled “what can I buy for $20 billion” and this is what I got.

Wow. The folks on the Gulf Coast will cost BP what Spam costs in terms of the loss of productivity per year. Hmmm. What else? The US Bank Bailout perhaps? A Microsoft Share buyback? Yep. It sounds like its a lot of money to compensate people who have lost their lively hoods, but its really not. It is only the tip of a multi-generational iceberg whose melt rate will overflow in that area for years and years to come.

Joe Biden’s head down says it all. We are screwed.