Category Archives: Midwest Musings

Solar Flare Blowback

Yep.  The I-Sun’s love explosion is set to hit us today.  Here is a pretty cool animation courtesy of NASA showing the money shot:

http://iswa.gsfc.nasa.gov/downloads/20110802_101800_anim.tim-den.gif

So for those of you in the higher lattitudes, go out from the cities and see if you can see the faint glow of the I-Sun’s love.  And as always…a great time to back up your files.

 

 

 

Point/Counter Point AKA all politicians are complete douchebags


Here is the speech that our now illustrious president gave as a Freshman Senator during the 2006 debt limit increase debate:

 

The fact that we are here today to debate raising America’s debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a sign that the U.S. Government can’t pay its own bills. It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our Government’s reckless fiscal policies. … Increasing America’s debt weakens us domestically and internationally. Leadership means that ‘the buck stops here. Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of bad choices today onto the backs of our children and grandchildren. America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans deserve better.

 

Fast forward to 2011 now that the “community organizer” is POTUS.

Failure by Congress to raise the U.S. debt limit “could plunge the world economy back into recession,” President Barack Obama declared Friday, and he acknowledged that he must compromise on spending with Republicans who control the House to avoid such a crisis.

So this brings up two possible scenarios, neither of which give me any confidence in the “Most Powerful Man in the World.”

  1. Our president, who’s resume reads as one time community organizer and one term senator (who spent the majority of time campaigning for the presidency) really doesn’t know anything about economics, macro, or micro and was doing nothing more than giving lip service to the American people and grand standing for the Democrats, or…
  2.  

  3. Our Hope and Change President has been given a full frontal lobotomy like all other politicians and is now caving in to special interests and those that fill his pockets with the almighty dollar. This full on douchnozzle now talks out of both sides of his mouth like all of his predecessors before him and seemingly has a bit of white trash in him. “Hey, I still have checks left so I must have money!”
  4.  

If I ran my business like the Federal government my doors would have been shuttered long ago. The bottom line is this: If you don’t have the money in the account YOU CANNOT SPEND IT!!!!!!! Tough choices must be made and that is what the majority of Americans elected this man to do.

Once again, our democracy has failed us.

Spam on the Road: Got My Computer back

Spam Poster

Hello all.

Haven’t posted in while and I’ve got loads to tell you.

but I don’t feel like it.

so I’ll hit the big points.

Got caught in a blizzard in Springfield, IL after seeing Chad in Chicago. We had to cancel a show because we just couldn’t get there in time.

Next up was New Orleans, where we stayed at the Astor Crown Hotel on Bourbon St.  ” Titties….Titties and no Cover. come on in fella’s and a girl will sit on your lap. Played a whole lot of Pool. Even won some.

A week of detox later and we are in FL.

Got to see my Mom, Grandmother, and my Brother in Pensacola, FL. They came to see the show. “Meme” said she got most of it. They had to leave the same night. Not enough time

Then there was Christmas at Disney World. Not Orlando. Disney World. Big difference. At the Swan and Dolphin Resort. I swam in many of the outdoor heated pools on Christmas Day. Didn’t feel right. Weird vibe the whole weekend.

West Palm Beach for one show. Then lots of worrying about my flight to Philly. Safe flight. And now, I’m home with C and G lapping it up before tomorrows travel to New Haven CT.

Now this I am excited about. New Haven used to be Broadway’s cradle. That is to say, the theater where we will be performing used to be where all the B-way shows had there tech rehearsals and try outs, and we are staying at the hotel across the street where all the writers and composers, and directors would stay while getting the show up.

It’s cool to think of  Rogers and Hammerstein, or Kandor and Ebb feverishly writing and rewriting songs and lyrics and bouncing ideas of the walls in that same hotel.

Big producer people coming too. They made sure we understood that the New Haven shows had to be on point.

I’ll let you know how it goes,

Will

Chicago is Freakin Cold!!! EEEK!

Spent the first time in my life actually IN Chicago for a few days thanks to Will and Spamalot.

Stayed at the Comfort Inn & Suites on E. Ohio St. in Chicago.

Not a bad hotel but had a totally USELESS couch in the living room.  It was like a small broken fold out bed love seat thing.  The cushions didn’t even match the couch.  It was like dumpster reject furniture.  Word of advice for this hotel:

Look, you are a hotel in a very VERY cold city.  People sometimes just want to stay in the room instead of go out into the “balmy” 10 degrees you got flyin around your streets.  This means your TV’s/Internet will be used and so will the couch!  If the couch sucks, don’t synthesize a passable one from other broken couches… THROW THE DAMN THING OUT!

This obviously didn’t occur to them because you couldn’t sit on the couch for longer than 5 minutes without severe back pain or a wedgie!

Other than the couch, the hotel was pretty nice.  Beds were clean and comfortable and bathroom was clean and shower had great pressure.  The view from the room was pretty cool too!

Click for a big picture
View from Comfort Inn and Suites Chicago. Click to download a better image!

Had a great visit to the skydeck at the Willis Tower (the former Sears Tower).  It was 103 stories up.  (And NO, the skydeck was not “calling to me” as the stupid website would say.  I just like tall buildings.  (Stupid marketing copyrighting dorks!!))  The elevator ride was wobbly and scary.  The view was incredible.  I took a few pictures and tried to make a “connecto picture” like I did in Atlantic City. This is out the north east side of the Willis/Sears tower overlooking the city with hancock tower (black tower), trump tower (silver tower), and lake michigan (big blue body of water!)

Click for a biggy version!
Northeast view from Sears/Willis Tower! It's a "Connecto-pic" ala cell phone! Click to download a better image!

Also did the thing at the tower where you can walk out on the glass box and look straight down.  It’s really creepy.  I found looking up at the very top edge of the building to be the most dizzying.  Looking down at your shoes was pretty common:

Looking out the side of the glass box to the OTHER glass box made ya kinda queezy.  Seeing the city from 103 stories up BEHIND other people floating on the side of the building was pretty sick!

In summary, had a great time.  It was REALLY nice to see/spend time with Will.  He made all sorts of fun arrangements so we could get around and see as much as we could despite the cold weather.  (MY GOD PEOPLE, IT’S THE COLDEST PLACE I’VE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE!  I DON’T SEE HOW PEOPLE LIVE THERE!)

I must say, the ride to and from Chicago was really fun!  I took 476 north from Philly then I-80 all the way across.  Witnessed some very beautiful mountains and very bizarre weather patterns.  My car looks like a salt lick right now (real pretty on a black car).  It was an 800 mile commute one way.  Took a perfect 12 hours each way.  Not bad!  Had to fill my tank 3 times each way.

Indiana still has the best turnpike with the 70 mph speed limit but their self serve “insert dollar into the sucker” tool booths suck.

Stupid Toll Booths

Ohio still smells funny and takes forever to drive through.

Stinky Ohio

And I still wasn’t “welcomed” by a sign or anything into Illinois!

NO! You are NOT welcome!

So there is my Chicago trip in review!  Sorry about the reused graphics, but somebody has gotta recycle around here!  Shiz!

My field trip to visit Liz and Chris in Minneapolis, MN

Okay I am duty bound to blog about my trip to Minneapolis.  This will probably sound like a stupid “what I did this summer” essay, and THAT is just how it is intended.  So suck it!

My fabulous “road gypsy” sister in law (the mysterious Denise) accompanied me on my maiden voyage as a long haul driver.  It was quite an experience.  Here’s how it went down from my stupid MS Word calendar.

July 21 – Left for MN at 1:30pm.  Arrived at Eldersburg (casa del Brente) 4ish and left for MN at 5:30p.  Drove thru the night and morning.

Things I learned:

1. The state of Ohio smells bad and the state of Indiana smells even WORSE!

Stinky Ohio

2. Once you get started on a trip like this, you really can’t stop for anything (so sorry John).
3. Always bring along some music that really sucks but you know really well (this keeps you awake by making fun of the music by screaming along)!
4. At the right time of the early morning, with properly balanced tires, and with cruise control you can drive across the entire state of Indiana and never touch the steering wheel (so damn flat).
5. Wisconsin is the indoor water park capital of the world.
6. Gary Indiana makes Elizabeth New Jersey look like an oasis.
7. If you are travelling from Indiana to Illinois, you will not get welcomed to the state with any sort of “welcome to this state” sign. Dont know why.

Ill-Annoys

July 22 – 7:30a to 11:30a – slept in a parking lot for a first care facility which sits next to a restaurant called “the bog”.  Here’s the best I can find for a webpage for the restaurant.  It has a map so you can see where to sleep when the rain comes down in sheets and you’ve been driving for MANY MANY HOURS.

Stupid Link to The Bog

July 22 – 12 ish.  Arrived in Minnesota where Liz came out to the car to meet us.  It was sooooooo coool!

July 22 (Thurs) to July 26 (Mon) – Had a wonderful, exciting, and relaxing time hanging with Liz and Chris.
Things I learned:

1. Minnesota is really nice and clean and perty.
2. The people that live in the city actually have lawns.
3. The Mississippi river flows thru EVERYTHING.
4. The mall of america is over the top consumerism on steroids.
5. The public transit is clean, convenient, and very slow (ala chocolate world speed).
6. The bars have very nice people in them (at least the ones we went to).
7. Chris OFFICIALLY does a very good McJagger dance (as approved by Denise and Myself).
8. Chris has introduced me to the world of Portable Alcoholism (thank you “sensei” (did I spell that right?))
9. Liz is an awesome friend, the best hostess, and has the best tan in Minneapolis (“stay sexy Minneapolis!”).
10. The Juicy Lucy is INCREDIBLE!
11. Black Sambucca tastes good in coffee.
12. I am addicted to Cheese Curds.
13. Chris always remembered his lunch money and his permission slip in the morning when he went to work.

Minnesota

July 26 (Monday) – Left with difficult goodbyes at 10:45am.  Bought some Cheese curds at a quicky mart in Wisconsin.

Wisconsin in all about cheese curds and indoor waterparks

July 26 – rush hour –  Hit rush hour in chicago.  Wasn’t really bad because we were on toll roads.  Gave us a chance to take these bad cell phone pictures.

chicago rush hour 1
chicago rush hour 2
chicago rush hour 3

July 26 – Entering Indiana – Almost lost my temper at the “take ticket” toll booth.  There was no ticket sticking out so i pressed the button to “get ticket”.  Still no ticket.  Pressed the button to get help.  Got an actual recording thru the speaker on the ticket box that said,

“all operators are busy please stand by” with hold music.  Sat there with traffic backing up behind me waiting on the operator to answer.

Finally she answered and I couldnt understand/hear her at all (I was at a toll booth and the speaker box was as small as my cell phone).

Finally I said, “I’m not from here, I dont know where I am and I’m trying to enter your stupid state of Indiana from Illinois and I cant get a damned ticket to come out of the stupid box!”  She garbled something and the ticket came out.  Finally, we were on our way again.

Stopped at a gas station in Indiana and stumbled over a toll booth ticket on the ground that was cheaper than ours.  We took it and turned it in when we got to the other end of the toll road.  It was accepted!!  Correct me on the amount but I believe we saved 2 bucks… Denise?  Comment?  So Indiana paid me back 2 bucks for the hassle (and I kept the original Indiana toll ticket as a souvenir).

Indiana can suck it!

Around midnight in Ohio, we considered settling for a cheap hotel but I think in hindsight, we realized that Ohio along the toll road wasn’t really an appealing place to spend the night so we just muddled on in a screaming haze.

July 27 – The construction around Pittsburgh in Pennsylvania is horrific even at 2AM.

Pennsylvania can suck it as well!

July 27 – Took a crap in a rest stop in Maryland.  Very regrettable.

July 27 – About 5am – Pulled into Elderssykesburgville Maryland.  Immediately crashed in the new improved bed in the room where the former disfiguring “stapler” bed used to be.  (The new bed was quite effective).

July 27 – about 11:30 am – woke up.  Had coffee.  Brente cleaned my car up.  (That much travel in ANY car can ruin the interior).

July 27 – 1:30p – Headed back to rehoboth beach delaware.

July 27 – 4p – arrive in reho.

mileage estimates:
1230 miles to Minneapolis from Rehoboth Beach, DE.
I drove 1000 of it.

1280 miles to Rehoboth, DE from Minneapolis.  (I think we took a wider different way around milwaukee on the way back…not really sure.  Maybe it was highway dementia having an affect on my odometer).

IN CONCLUSION:   All I can say is WOW and:

1. I never knew I could drive that far!
2. I never knew I had such a fun sister in law to travel with!
3. I never knew Minneapolis could be soooo cool.
4. I KNEW that Liz and Chris are awesome and we’d have a good time and we DEFINITELY DID!

Minneapolis Rocks!

Minneapolis Skyline
Minneapolis Skyline

Having a super bitchin time in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Liz and Chris Kublahblah are super awesome hostesesesssess. The weather kicks ass!

Because of our remote location we now have invited Chris and Liz to the blog as our Ctrl Z Studio Midwest Annex office.

Please welcome them to the litany of stupidity!

Oh god oh god oh crayap oh crayap!