Tag Archives: Spamalot


I’m still hoping for complete and total INSTANT oblivion. Like a light switch to a dimension of nothingness!



SPAM ON THE ROAD: Same old, Same old and the End Looms.

Spam Poster

Hello my friends,

Well hasn’t it been an interesting few weeks?
My boyfriend and two friends get jumped by a biggoty fag allowed to stay in a bar.
My Mom almost dies from a bleeding ulcer and has to give up booze and cigs for the rest of her life. And, I’m on the road wondering where the fuck I am.

I’ve got nothing. nothing interesting. you’ve heard the cool shit. New Orleans, Canada, you’ve heard it. The rest is middle of Fuck nowhere USA. It’s all the same, and I guess thats sort of comforting and sad all at the same time.

But. My mom is on the Mend. And, so is Chad, Jeff and Sammy. Summer is coming and I get to go to Rehomo and Philly for 5 whole Days. Then, after that, 3 weeks till I’m off this crazy Spam ride for good. I really can’t wait. I have to live more of my life! I love having a job but being an actor means that I HAVE to change jobs every 6,8, or 12 months. Some people might say, that’s crazy, that’s no way to live. But me…. I love it. Having no idea where I’m gonna be working in a year is hella stressful but…fun never the less.

I’m rambling…

It’s over soon. That’s the point. And I hate bigoted fags in bars.

Memphis was gorgeous even flooded. And I can’t wait for Atlanta and Dallas.
Playing the Fox in Atlanta has been one of my dreams since I was a kid.

Let’s get happy this summer people.



Spam Poster

O summer air so thick and juicy
rattling around my lungs like some kind of wet bat,
My heart sings with every moist breath.
I wuv you Florida.

An Ode by Will Harrell

I’m in Sarasota in a motel.
Roaches, No shower and a kick ass pool area.
Bar connected to the hotel. Bartender is Dave. Everyone seems happy.

Tan coming in.


SPAM ON THE ROAD: 70 Degrees.

Spam Poster

Don’t you just hate me?

Yes ladies and jellyspoons, It is around 70 degrees today in southern Cali. I know that you all are having one of the worst winters of your lives and I hate to rub it in, but I’m gonna anyway.


We are headed to Palm Desert California, just outside of Palm Springs. Not a cloud in the sky and warm as all get out.

I mean you must just wanna shoot me. But that will have to wait until April when our westerly trip is done and we head back east to Newark.

The past few weeks have been fine. Riverside, CA , then a trip up to Washington State, back down through Oregon, and now Southern CA.

The Lead that I cover, Sir Bedevere, had to step out of the show for a few days to attend a funeral back east. So I got to play a leading role in Riverside which is an A market. Fun stuff. He’s back now and all is well . I’m sorta glad to be back in my old track. more comfortable.

We are seeing some beautiful countryside. chased a prairie dog at a gas stop yesterday that looked very much like Glaydburger. Being out here makes me want to learn Spanish. We all really should.

Next big cities are Phoenix, Thousand Oaks, and (sigh) Santa Barbara. Sunny beach 4 miles away from S.B., and we have a golden day there. can’t wait.

hope all is well and you guys are keeping warm. Can’t wait to see you in April.



Spam Poster

Hello Sweetie Darling Honey Sweethearts,

After crossing the Mississippi in St. Louis, passing through Arkansas, and singing “25 miles until we get to heaven” as we pulled into the Texas A and M campus, ( only John will get that) I finally have a Golden Day.

A Golden Day, Ladies and Jellyspoons, is a day that has no show and NO travel…

That doesn’t happen. Monday is usually our day off, and usually the longest travel day for the week. So much need recoup time. I’m getting a hair cut.

The days run together. I never know where I was the day before. If someone asks, I really don’t know.
My roommate is leaving the tour. He got a good job in FL. Nothing dramatic. We’ll all be sad to see him go.

I miss you all very much. And, my family. Brent and D, I’m praying for puddles. Bob, keep rocking, Johnny don’t give up. Chef keep cooking please. and Chadley and G keep eachother in good lovings till I can get there.

Next up is Sunny California, and Washington. Wagons HO!


Spam on the Road: Got My Computer back

Spam Poster

Hello all.

Haven’t posted in while and I’ve got loads to tell you.

but I don’t feel like it.

so I’ll hit the big points.

Got caught in a blizzard in Springfield, IL after seeing Chad in Chicago. We had to cancel a show because we just couldn’t get there in time.

Next up was New Orleans, where we stayed at the Astor Crown Hotel on Bourbon St.  ” Titties….Titties and no Cover. come on in fella’s and a girl will sit on your lap. Played a whole lot of Pool. Even won some.

A week of detox later and we are in FL.

Got to see my Mom, Grandmother, and my Brother in Pensacola, FL. They came to see the show. “Meme” said she got most of it. They had to leave the same night. Not enough time

Then there was Christmas at Disney World. Not Orlando. Disney World. Big difference. At the Swan and Dolphin Resort. I swam in many of the outdoor heated pools on Christmas Day. Didn’t feel right. Weird vibe the whole weekend.

West Palm Beach for one show. Then lots of worrying about my flight to Philly. Safe flight. And now, I’m home with C and G lapping it up before tomorrows travel to New Haven CT.

Now this I am excited about. New Haven used to be Broadway’s cradle. That is to say, the theater where we will be performing used to be where all the B-way shows had there tech rehearsals and try outs, and we are staying at the hotel across the street where all the writers and composers, and directors would stay while getting the show up.

It’s cool to think of  Rogers and Hammerstein, or Kandor and Ebb feverishly writing and rewriting songs and lyrics and bouncing ideas of the walls in that same hotel.

Big producer people coming too. They made sure we understood that the New Haven shows had to be on point.

I’ll let you know how it goes,


Chicago is Freakin Cold!!! EEEK!

Spent the first time in my life actually IN Chicago for a few days thanks to Will and Spamalot.

Stayed at the Comfort Inn & Suites on E. Ohio St. in Chicago.

Not a bad hotel but had a totally USELESS couch in the living room.  It was like a small broken fold out bed love seat thing.  The cushions didn’t even match the couch.  It was like dumpster reject furniture.  Word of advice for this hotel:

Look, you are a hotel in a very VERY cold city.  People sometimes just want to stay in the room instead of go out into the “balmy” 10 degrees you got flyin around your streets.  This means your TV’s/Internet will be used and so will the couch!  If the couch sucks, don’t synthesize a passable one from other broken couches… THROW THE DAMN THING OUT!

This obviously didn’t occur to them because you couldn’t sit on the couch for longer than 5 minutes without severe back pain or a wedgie!

Other than the couch, the hotel was pretty nice.  Beds were clean and comfortable and bathroom was clean and shower had great pressure.  The view from the room was pretty cool too!

Click for a big picture
View from Comfort Inn and Suites Chicago. Click to download a better image!

Had a great visit to the skydeck at the Willis Tower (the former Sears Tower).  It was 103 stories up.  (And NO, the skydeck was not “calling to me” as the stupid website would say.  I just like tall buildings.  (Stupid marketing copyrighting dorks!!))  The elevator ride was wobbly and scary.  The view was incredible.  I took a few pictures and tried to make a “connecto picture” like I did in Atlantic City. This is out the north east side of the Willis/Sears tower overlooking the city with hancock tower (black tower), trump tower (silver tower), and lake michigan (big blue body of water!)

Click for a biggy version!
Northeast view from Sears/Willis Tower! It's a "Connecto-pic" ala cell phone! Click to download a better image!

Also did the thing at the tower where you can walk out on the glass box and look straight down.  It’s really creepy.  I found looking up at the very top edge of the building to be the most dizzying.  Looking down at your shoes was pretty common:

Looking out the side of the glass box to the OTHER glass box made ya kinda queezy.  Seeing the city from 103 stories up BEHIND other people floating on the side of the building was pretty sick!

In summary, had a great time.  It was REALLY nice to see/spend time with Will.  He made all sorts of fun arrangements so we could get around and see as much as we could despite the cold weather.  (MY GOD PEOPLE, IT’S THE COLDEST PLACE I’VE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE!  I DON’T SEE HOW PEOPLE LIVE THERE!)

I must say, the ride to and from Chicago was really fun!  I took 476 north from Philly then I-80 all the way across.  Witnessed some very beautiful mountains and very bizarre weather patterns.  My car looks like a salt lick right now (real pretty on a black car).  It was an 800 mile commute one way.  Took a perfect 12 hours each way.  Not bad!  Had to fill my tank 3 times each way.

Indiana still has the best turnpike with the 70 mph speed limit but their self serve “insert dollar into the sucker” tool booths suck.

Stupid Toll Booths

Ohio still smells funny and takes forever to drive through.

Stinky Ohio

And I still wasn’t “welcomed” by a sign or anything into Illinois!

NO! You are NOT welcome!

So there is my Chicago trip in review!  Sorry about the reused graphics, but somebody has gotta recycle around here!  Shiz!