A listing for a technical writer position came up in Rockville. SIX different “recruiters” called me for it.
All offering different lengths of contract.
Some showed a salary range and some didn’t.
Some of them called BEFORE sending a job description i.e., “cold called.”
3 left a message.
This was the one that I could understand the most. This is an example of one of the “great” recruiters in “America” that are the “Warriors of My Future” who will save me from homelessness in this “great” nation. These are the people who control my future and destiny and stand between me and that all so important encompassing enthralling career move that will change my life and make things better for me.
Let’s just listen to the magic and hope for my future.
Think I have any hope? At all?
Do you have a clearer understanding of my “attitude”?
I get this at a rate between 6-12 interactions a day. I’ve had these and answered them and tried to work with them now for 7 months. Do you think these are actual jobs? Any thoughts at all about this would be interesting from anyone. I’ve already emailed 2 congressman about this with no responses.
All I can say is WHAT THE HELL?!?!
UPDATE: I just had a job description that asked if “Any time planned off next few months (Dr appointments, Vacations, etc.)? ”
I replied with “I may get sick. I am human. I do not “need” a vacation ever, but it may be difficult to come to work constantly with no time away. Once again, I am human.”
Below is an exchange between one of the 6-10 job recruitment emails I receive DAILY. (Don’t be fooled folks, the job market out there is really good).
However, this demonstrates what is inherently wrong with labor and the “job creators”* in our country.
(*Remember, the term “job creator” is total bullshit because the people who have the ability to create jobs really dont give a damn if they are creating jobs or not. They just want to see if they can get their overhead and hire people for as little wage as humanly possible. Essentially, these companies would hire neuro physicists for $5 an hour if they could get away with it). Below is the exchange.)
From: Jolly 8:12 AM (1 hour ago) Hi: Hope you are doing good today! This is in reference to your profile I got from our database. I wanted to check your availability for an URGENT position we have. Please review the details below and let me know your interest. Position: Technical Documentation Specialist Location: Martinsburg, WV 25405 Duration: 5 years+ Client: Naval Postgraduate School (NPS) Purpose: The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) intends to do an 8(a) Competitive procurement for Data Entry, Imaging, Indexing, IT Support Services and Related Support Services for the ATF National Tracing Center located at the Martinsburg, WV facility under North American Industry Classification System (NAICS) 518210. General Qualifications: · Proficient Technical Skills · Demonstrated Writing Skills at the 12 grade (High School) and higher · Demonstrated ability to accurately type at least 40 wpm · Interpersonal Skills · Active Listening Skills Required Skills: · Demonstrated proficiency in Microsoft Office Products (Excel, Word, Power Point, etc.) · General knowledge of IT concepts and terminology relative to Web Development · Experience drafting technical documentation and training materials Jolly
——– my first response ——- Chad Graybill 9:10 AM (19 minutes ago)
Everything listed is well within the scope of my experience. Currently, I am working on a contract that seems to have no end for HRSA.
I am making $xx/hour on a 1099 with absolutely no benefits including no sick leave.
If you can do better than this, I will consider.
Thanks, Chad Graybill
——– Jolly’s response ———- From: Jolly to me
I can do $xx + $5/hr on 1099.
Please send me your updated resume.
Jolly ——– My second response ———– To: Jolly (attached resume)
Considering I just re-signed a year lease living in North Bethesda, MD…. I don’t think this rate is reasonable enough for me to break my lease and move my life to Martinsburg, WV. The commute from my current residence is 50+ miles one way through some of the worst traffic the east coast has to offer.
Can we reconsider with this in mind?
A friend of mine said, “There are many job opportunities out there right now. The problem is that everyone wants help, but nobody wants to pay for it.” Can you show ME that you really want my help and make it worth my while to uproot my life for this? The way I see this, we are all responsible for our own health care at this point. I dont understand why companies have very little to pay for labor these days. It’s bad enough that we now cover our own health care, then companies don’t want to pay for any sick or vacation leave. How much more cheaper can we make labor for the “job creators”? I don’t understand why BEFORE the ACA(“obamacare”), companies covered health care AND leave. Now they want to cover NOTHING? I dont see how this is reasonable or even fair.
Merely $5 extra dollars an hours doesn’t seem really reasonable enough for this.
Apparently, when we want something we pay for it. When the “job creators” or the people who HAVE MONEY want something, we are supposed to give it to them for free.
This is why I do not rise for the national anthem.
UPDATE: this person didn’t even read the response and just sent me a form to sign for “exclusivity” so nobody else can PIMP me for this contract. Essentially, they just made the assumption that I accepted their offer. Once again, proof that nobody in America reads ANYTHING. I responded saying:
We are still negotiating! If you actually read my last post you will know that I did not accept your offer and was questioning the reasons why the consideration is so low. I will not sign any agreement until the terms are reasonable. Your suggested terms are not reasonable as mentioned in my last post.
On the news this morning (on the radio) I heard that there are more jobs available then workers in America. I can very easily explain to the “job creators” (which is a bullshit term that has no validity in real life) that the reason for this is what JohnnyD said years ago: “Everyone wants the help and nobody wants to pay for it”. If the “job creators” actually paid a sensible wage in correlation to the cost of living in the geographical area in which they are hiring, this wouldn’t be a problem. BUT when you pay McDonald’s wages for a job that requires 24/7 availability and a masters degree, this is what happens. Like the band Rush says, “You can’t have something for nothing…”
Also there seems to be a reoccurring theme here. I have been a contractor for the majority of my working life (20+ years). In this time, I have seen my employer names become more and more harder to pronounce. I have also found that the companies I’ve been working for are all based overseas. This means, when you call your HR office, you are using a country code to call internationally.
I JUST WANT TO WORK FOR AN AMERICAN COMPANY BASED IN AMERICA RUN BY PEOPLE WHO SPEAK MY LANGUAGE.
Everyday, I get emails from recruiters that have crazy foreign names. Some are hilarious. (My favorite was a few years ago when I got an email from a recruiter named “Bibbit Babu”). Since I no longer have the patience to answer their phone calls because I dont understand them when they call me (reference this posting), I have decided to list the funny names. So, if you want to work in america, these are the people you must beg and plead for a job in this stupid ignorant nation of greed and sell outs. To be honest, I think these people are driving our wages down. They work for nothing, so that means america is going to turn into the next New Delhi. I wonder how the clean white rich “job creators” will feel when their neighborhood turns into something that looks like a slum in India, because that’s where we are heading.
This has become so bad, that I may have to make a posting everyday with these. It definitely is a laugh trying to pronounce them. It is also funny when they call me and say, “Hello Shad Glaybeel…”:
This is NOT an exaggeration. And I have received ZERO listings from a name that sounds English.
The good part is, I am a technical writer that speaks/writes English as a native language. These people will always need someone like me. The sad part is, when interviewing with these people, when you can actually UNDERSTAND them on the phone, they have no concept of geography. They think Pittsburgh is a 5 minute walk up the road from Philadelphia. Sure, they think its no problem for you to uproot your entire existence to work 500 miles away on a 3 month long contract with no benefits and a wage that makes the janitor laugh.
Folks, this stuff makes me hate america SO MUCH its disgusting.
Folks, the list grows daily. Put this up there with great job listing terms like “ability to self municate”.
The listing du jour follows:
“Master storytellerable to craft a master narrative cohering an entire curriculum; able to write stories that relate the unknown to the known; able to create immersive, narrative-driven, learning experiences that expose learners to new beliefs or reframe current beliefs that drive effective behaviors; able to simplify and rationalize the complex and irrational.”
What the hell is “Master storytellerable”?? I’m serious folks. This was in a job requirement. This sounds like they want you to create some sort of Romulan brain torture device. REEEEEDICULOUS!!!
A possible rewrite would be:
“Able to change republicans to democrats and straights to gays. Able to see into the future without a crystal ball and be held accountable for this. Make lazy people energized with stuff that makes them lazy in the first place. Change Christians into Atheists at the wave of a wand. (and lets not forget) Spoon feed the lazy and the rich.”
I have decided to start recording my potential job “Whoppertunities®”.
This is the first of hopefully many audio bits of recruiters calling me with job opportunities. Essentially, they are the people who will be representing me to my future dream employer. I suppose this IS the best person to do that. (Sigh). Odds are, well, I’m still looking for work….
Our first contestant in this series needs some serious slowing down or something. I like how long it takes her to find my name on the prostitute du jour list.
Here she is a little slower. Try not to laugh, I laughed it all out!
And, just to show I care, here she is SLOW but with a funky beat for no particular reason.
More to come… Get all excited! Any ideas, or comments? I’m all in!