A Picture Says A Thousand Words

From the above picture you would think that our President has BP against the wall. CEO Tony Hayward is making the quasi “fist face” and Obama’s got him on the ropes with his “I mean business” pointer thumb. But no. BP is getting off cheap. So just for the hell of it, I googled “what can I buy for $20 billion” and this is what I got.

Wow. The folks on the Gulf Coast will cost BP what Spam costs in terms of the loss of productivity per year. Hmmm. What else? The US Bank Bailout perhaps? A Microsoft Share buyback? Yep. It sounds like its a lot of money to compensate people who have lost their lively hoods, but its really not. It is only the tip of a multi-generational iceberg whose melt rate will overflow in that area for years and years to come.

Joe Biden’s head down says it all. We are screwed.

A waste of a perfectly good dimension

“America’s First modern-technology 3-D newspaper section” proclaimed the Inquirer yesterday. Since I haven’t seen any 3D since I was about 5 years old and had a ViewMaster­­, I made a trip to the closest Wawa and picked up a copy.
The paper included cardboard glasses, an 8 page section of 3D content, and a small poster of Roy Halladay, the latter all neon-ed out.
How did it look?
Well, the most 3D looking thing of the content was the full page Macy’s ad. The rest was hardly 3D at all. Even the special Roy poster gave little if any 3D effect.
It could be an issue of color separation, since newspaper is notoriously known for poor color registration. Maybe in a magazine this would work, but it’s gonna be a long time before 3D newspaper makes a dent in anything (except my nose from wearing those annoying glasses.
Even when the effect worked, it was very very faint. 3D was much better with the old red-blue glasses! (for what that’s worth)
Imagine, if you will, a busy morning subway commute. Everyone is wearing cardboard 3D glasses with BestBuy emblazoned on the sides, and then opens up their “inq3D” newspaper. That’s a real hoot.

By the time you’re done with one page you’ll already have a migraine.

Dog walkers wanted. Must have PhD?

From a self-important post on CRAIGSLIST, advertising employment as a part-time ‘dog walker’; one of those chaps you see walking numerous unruly canines throughout the city.

RE: “Dog Walking” Position The successful candidate must have ALL of the following: working cell phone, prior work references (not your friends or relatives – only professional references will be accepted), car or bike, working internet access/email, outstanding written and verbal communications skills AND a BACHELOR’S DEGREE!

A Bachelors Degree,…to walk dogs! No mention of either ‘must love dogs’ or ‘must love animals’ …. No mention of the prerequisite physical stamina needed to herd a gaggle of caffeinated Jack Russell Terriers through a public park! No,…

My response Subject: You must be kidding!

Ok, I understand everything in your ad up to a point. Communicating is important. References and transportation to and from the job is important. I’ll give you a pass on requiring “outstanding written and verbal communication skills” after all, what does a dog know besides the verbal ‘Sit’, ‘Stay’ and all that.

But a Bachelors Degree to walk dogs? Simply put: you are quite insane.

Their self-important response which was swift and sure;

“If you look at the qualifications of our walkers and compare them with qualifications of other services’ walkers, they are outstanding. We’re picky and we want our business to be represented well by educated, knowledgeable people, which it is.

Sorry if that offends you.”

Not being one to’ let a sleeping dog lie’ I just had to point out the obvious.

“…It is not an offensive ideal for an employer to want the best possible people.

What is offensive is the ridiculous notion that a Bachelor’s Degree is required to operate a pooper scooper. A bit over-qualified if you ask most people.

Perhaps you should take this foolishness to its logical conclusion and require all your walkers to hold a PhD from one of the Ivys?
Have a nice day….”

I’m still waiting for a response

Deconstructing the world – one blog at a time