Category Archives: Travelogue

Review of a place visited! Duh!

Chronicles of the Absurd-Who Knew?

There is nothing like a door ding or a fall time kamikaze acorn bombardment to brighten the day of any car owner.  Saw this nifty little trick and thought I might pass it on.

I may even try it on my almost vintage Honda accord a.k.a. the Green Machine to see if it really works. The only problem is that if it does, I’m on the hook for a lot of computer cleaners…

Chicago is Freakin Cold!!! EEEK!

Spent the first time in my life actually IN Chicago for a few days thanks to Will and Spamalot.

Stayed at the Comfort Inn & Suites on E. Ohio St. in Chicago.

Not a bad hotel but had a totally USELESS couch in the living room.  It was like a small broken fold out bed love seat thing.  The cushions didn’t even match the couch.  It was like dumpster reject furniture.  Word of advice for this hotel:

Look, you are a hotel in a very VERY cold city.  People sometimes just want to stay in the room instead of go out into the “balmy” 10 degrees you got flyin around your streets.  This means your TV’s/Internet will be used and so will the couch!  If the couch sucks, don’t synthesize a passable one from other broken couches… THROW THE DAMN THING OUT!

This obviously didn’t occur to them because you couldn’t sit on the couch for longer than 5 minutes without severe back pain or a wedgie!

Other than the couch, the hotel was pretty nice.  Beds were clean and comfortable and bathroom was clean and shower had great pressure.  The view from the room was pretty cool too!

Click for a big picture
View from Comfort Inn and Suites Chicago. Click to download a better image!

Had a great visit to the skydeck at the Willis Tower (the former Sears Tower).  It was 103 stories up.  (And NO, the skydeck was not “calling to me” as the stupid website would say.  I just like tall buildings.  (Stupid marketing copyrighting dorks!!))  The elevator ride was wobbly and scary.  The view was incredible.  I took a few pictures and tried to make a “connecto picture” like I did in Atlantic City. This is out the north east side of the Willis/Sears tower overlooking the city with hancock tower (black tower), trump tower (silver tower), and lake michigan (big blue body of water!)

Click for a biggy version!
Northeast view from Sears/Willis Tower! It's a "Connecto-pic" ala cell phone! Click to download a better image!

Also did the thing at the tower where you can walk out on the glass box and look straight down.  It’s really creepy.  I found looking up at the very top edge of the building to be the most dizzying.  Looking down at your shoes was pretty common:

Looking out the side of the glass box to the OTHER glass box made ya kinda queezy.  Seeing the city from 103 stories up BEHIND other people floating on the side of the building was pretty sick!

In summary, had a great time.  It was REALLY nice to see/spend time with Will.  He made all sorts of fun arrangements so we could get around and see as much as we could despite the cold weather.  (MY GOD PEOPLE, IT’S THE COLDEST PLACE I’VE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE!  I DON’T SEE HOW PEOPLE LIVE THERE!)

I must say, the ride to and from Chicago was really fun!  I took 476 north from Philly then I-80 all the way across.  Witnessed some very beautiful mountains and very bizarre weather patterns.  My car looks like a salt lick right now (real pretty on a black car).  It was an 800 mile commute one way.  Took a perfect 12 hours each way.  Not bad!  Had to fill my tank 3 times each way.

Indiana still has the best turnpike with the 70 mph speed limit but their self serve “insert dollar into the sucker” tool booths suck.

Stupid Toll Booths

Ohio still smells funny and takes forever to drive through.

Stinky Ohio

And I still wasn’t “welcomed” by a sign or anything into Illinois!

NO! You are NOT welcome!

So there is my Chicago trip in review!  Sorry about the reused graphics, but somebody has gotta recycle around here!  Shiz!

Atlantic City, NJ in Review

Went and actually stayed in Atlantic City, NJ a few nights for the first time in my life.  This was all courtesy of Rob Montgomery.

Let me tell you… INTERESTING place.  Had a great time, but WOW talk about strange places..

First of all, we stayed in a building called the Flagship.

Flagship
Flagship, Atlantic City, NJ

We were on the 11th floor facing north (toward Brigantine, NJ).  I took pictures with my cell phone and made a collage of which I am quite proud.

Collage of View from Flagship
My collage of photos of the view from the 11th floor balcony. That's Absecon Inlet and Brigantine, NJ in the background.

If you click on the picture above you can see the full blown image.  It’s pretty neat!  Take notice of the boardwalk that is crumbling.  Atlantic City is literally crumbling in some areas and being rebuilt in others. What made the boardwalk so interesting is that people used it freely everyday all the time walking around barricades and ignoring warnings of the whole thing being unsafe.  There were parts where you could fall through human sized holes into the crashing surf below.  Obviously this boardwalk had taken hits from various storms in the past.  The question I have is, why would you build a boardwalk on the water right where the waves break, then put a sea wall behind the boardwalk?  Either way I found this whole thing very interesting.  This boardwalk sits on the north side of AC so maybe the “Noreasters” take their toll.  This boardwalk initially wrapped around to the eastern/ocean side of the island but now it’s so broken up it doesn’t go through.  Here are some pictures of the shoddy boardwalk.

Atlantic City crumbling
Atlantic City crumbling
AC crumbles
Notice the light pole that is broken and laying across the boardwalk toward the back of the photo right after the pole that is still standing.

The casinos were fun.  We spent most of our time at Ballys, Ballys Wild West, and Harrahs.  They are all pretty much the same thing that have the same games.  It’s like choosing between McDonalds or Burger King.  Same shit!  I found myself to be lucky/competent at video poker (of course) and a video slot machine called “bonus party” or “bonus block party”.  I did pretty well.  I’m no high roller but let’s say I had a wonderful time with little expense thanks to my winnings.

What makes AC interesting is the people that gamble.  They come from all walks of life and they are completely obsessed with gambling.  They walk around the casino floor like dazed zombies.  Some of the outfits and hairdo’s were noteworthy.  This next picture was taken by Rob.  This “lady” had an award winning mullet.  Even fringe for lesbian standards.

Award winning AC mullet
Award winning Atlantic City mullet

Well, for what it’s worth, I had a great time.  I’d go back!  I want to end this now before it starts to REALLY become a “what I did last summer” blog (as if it hasn’t already).  Thanks again to Rob Montgomery for the get-away and for introducing me to Mary and Kevin!  Good people!  Good times!

My field trip to visit Liz and Chris in Minneapolis, MN

Okay I am duty bound to blog about my trip to Minneapolis.  This will probably sound like a stupid “what I did this summer” essay, and THAT is just how it is intended.  So suck it!

My fabulous “road gypsy” sister in law (the mysterious Denise) accompanied me on my maiden voyage as a long haul driver.  It was quite an experience.  Here’s how it went down from my stupid MS Word calendar.

July 21 – Left for MN at 1:30pm.  Arrived at Eldersburg (casa del Brente) 4ish and left for MN at 5:30p.  Drove thru the night and morning.

Things I learned:

1. The state of Ohio smells bad and the state of Indiana smells even WORSE!

Stinky Ohio

2. Once you get started on a trip like this, you really can’t stop for anything (so sorry John).
3. Always bring along some music that really sucks but you know really well (this keeps you awake by making fun of the music by screaming along)!
4. At the right time of the early morning, with properly balanced tires, and with cruise control you can drive across the entire state of Indiana and never touch the steering wheel (so damn flat).
5. Wisconsin is the indoor water park capital of the world.
6. Gary Indiana makes Elizabeth New Jersey look like an oasis.
7. If you are travelling from Indiana to Illinois, you will not get welcomed to the state with any sort of “welcome to this state” sign. Dont know why.

Ill-Annoys

July 22 – 7:30a to 11:30a – slept in a parking lot for a first care facility which sits next to a restaurant called “the bog”.  Here’s the best I can find for a webpage for the restaurant.  It has a map so you can see where to sleep when the rain comes down in sheets and you’ve been driving for MANY MANY HOURS.

Stupid Link to The Bog

July 22 – 12 ish.  Arrived in Minnesota where Liz came out to the car to meet us.  It was sooooooo coool!

July 22 (Thurs) to July 26 (Mon) – Had a wonderful, exciting, and relaxing time hanging with Liz and Chris.
Things I learned:

1. Minnesota is really nice and clean and perty.
2. The people that live in the city actually have lawns.
3. The Mississippi river flows thru EVERYTHING.
4. The mall of america is over the top consumerism on steroids.
5. The public transit is clean, convenient, and very slow (ala chocolate world speed).
6. The bars have very nice people in them (at least the ones we went to).
7. Chris OFFICIALLY does a very good McJagger dance (as approved by Denise and Myself).
8. Chris has introduced me to the world of Portable Alcoholism (thank you “sensei” (did I spell that right?))
9. Liz is an awesome friend, the best hostess, and has the best tan in Minneapolis (“stay sexy Minneapolis!”).
10. The Juicy Lucy is INCREDIBLE!
11. Black Sambucca tastes good in coffee.
12. I am addicted to Cheese Curds.
13. Chris always remembered his lunch money and his permission slip in the morning when he went to work.

Minnesota

July 26 (Monday) – Left with difficult goodbyes at 10:45am.  Bought some Cheese curds at a quicky mart in Wisconsin.

Wisconsin in all about cheese curds and indoor waterparks

July 26 – rush hour –  Hit rush hour in chicago.  Wasn’t really bad because we were on toll roads.  Gave us a chance to take these bad cell phone pictures.

chicago rush hour 1
chicago rush hour 2
chicago rush hour 3

July 26 – Entering Indiana – Almost lost my temper at the “take ticket” toll booth.  There was no ticket sticking out so i pressed the button to “get ticket”.  Still no ticket.  Pressed the button to get help.  Got an actual recording thru the speaker on the ticket box that said,

“all operators are busy please stand by” with hold music.  Sat there with traffic backing up behind me waiting on the operator to answer.

Finally she answered and I couldnt understand/hear her at all (I was at a toll booth and the speaker box was as small as my cell phone).

Finally I said, “I’m not from here, I dont know where I am and I’m trying to enter your stupid state of Indiana from Illinois and I cant get a damned ticket to come out of the stupid box!”  She garbled something and the ticket came out.  Finally, we were on our way again.

Stopped at a gas station in Indiana and stumbled over a toll booth ticket on the ground that was cheaper than ours.  We took it and turned it in when we got to the other end of the toll road.  It was accepted!!  Correct me on the amount but I believe we saved 2 bucks… Denise?  Comment?  So Indiana paid me back 2 bucks for the hassle (and I kept the original Indiana toll ticket as a souvenir).

Indiana can suck it!

Around midnight in Ohio, we considered settling for a cheap hotel but I think in hindsight, we realized that Ohio along the toll road wasn’t really an appealing place to spend the night so we just muddled on in a screaming haze.

July 27 – The construction around Pittsburgh in Pennsylvania is horrific even at 2AM.

Pennsylvania can suck it as well!

July 27 – Took a crap in a rest stop in Maryland.  Very regrettable.

July 27 – About 5am – Pulled into Elderssykesburgville Maryland.  Immediately crashed in the new improved bed in the room where the former disfiguring “stapler” bed used to be.  (The new bed was quite effective).

July 27 – about 11:30 am – woke up.  Had coffee.  Brente cleaned my car up.  (That much travel in ANY car can ruin the interior).

July 27 – 1:30p – Headed back to rehoboth beach delaware.

July 27 – 4p – arrive in reho.

mileage estimates:
1230 miles to Minneapolis from Rehoboth Beach, DE.
I drove 1000 of it.

1280 miles to Rehoboth, DE from Minneapolis.  (I think we took a wider different way around milwaukee on the way back…not really sure.  Maybe it was highway dementia having an affect on my odometer).

IN CONCLUSION:   All I can say is WOW and:

1. I never knew I could drive that far!
2. I never knew I had such a fun sister in law to travel with!
3. I never knew Minneapolis could be soooo cool.
4. I KNEW that Liz and Chris are awesome and we’d have a good time and we DEFINITELY DID!

Minneapolis Rocks!

Minneapolis Skyline
Minneapolis Skyline

Having a super bitchin time in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Liz and Chris Kublahblah are super awesome hostesesesssess. The weather kicks ass!

Because of our remote location we now have invited Chris and Liz to the blog as our Ctrl Z Studio Midwest Annex office.

Please welcome them to the litany of stupidity!

Oh god oh god oh crayap oh crayap!