I actually watched today’s winner live on CSPAN and I couldn’t believe my luck! Thank you Rep. Baton R-Tex. You have given me my absurd word of the day: SHAKEDOWN.
Here, I was thinking that BP got off relatively easy with the setting up of a fund (only $5 billion per year for the next 4 years) of $20 billion. Guess I’m more gangsta then the President!
Maybe this is how the Congressman from Texas thinks it all went down at the White House yesterday…
From the above picture you would think that our President has BP against the wall. CEO Tony Hayward is making the quasi “fist face” and Obama’s got him on the ropes with his “I mean business” pointer thumb. But no. BP is getting off cheap. So just for the hell of it, I googled “what can I buy for $20 billion” and this is what I got.
Wow. The folks on the Gulf Coast will cost BP what Spam costs in terms of the loss of productivity per year. Hmmm. What else? The US Bank Bailout perhaps? A Microsoft Share buyback? Yep. It sounds like its a lot of money to compensate people who have lost their lively hoods, but its really not. It is only the tip of a multi-generational iceberg whose melt rate will overflow in that area for years and years to come.
Joe Biden’s head down says it all. We are screwed.
Well, as you all know, I got the job as instructional designer at a chicken farm in Lower Slower Delaware. I was given an office with no windows, so I decided to put a nice window view on my computer. I thought this captured the spirit of Lower Slower Delaware and the job at hand!
This sign was spotted on the Rehoboth Beach Delaware boardwalk. The arcade/amusement section of the park is called PLAYLAND and it lost a very important lighted letter. I think with the “L” blown out, the name of the business is more appropriate as “PAYLAND”. Go in, have fun, and PAY PAY PAY!
I am really starting to love Sarah Palin. Just when you think she can not be anymore absurd, she tops herself.
She recently posted on her “failbook” page that she thinks President Obama needs to call her so she can educate him on how to act like an executive, and how to deal with the oil companies since she herself has had SO much experience in dealing with an oil spill aka the Exxon fiasco.
Well…the Exxon Valdez spill in Prince William Sound happened in 1989. What was she doing in 1989? She was at home starting her child army. She was not elected to any “official” public office until 1992-a full 3 years after the disaster. She was appointed to an Alaskan “Oil Commission” but only served a year on that board. I suppose approving a transcontinental oil pipeline (which is currenlty facing legality charges in Canadian First Nations) gives her all the experience she needs when dealing with an environmental disaster such as the loss the entire GULF OF MEXICO.
Thanks Sarah, but No thanks. If the President needs to know how to hunt or play hockey, he’ll call you.
BP CEO Tony Hayward is going to start running ads of his apology on national television. The cost of this venture is money that could be going towards the remediation of the Gulf of Mexico and the poor folks who live on its shores. We already know they are sorry. Just in the words of our president “Plug the damn hole!”
The only way that BP is going to solve this issue is if they start working on a time machine. Here’s some ideas BP to get you started:
With so much stupidity running rampant, I thought what a shame not capture it. Today’s tasty ignoramus is none other then that tireless self promoting Alaskan Wolverine a.k.a. A Hockey Mom with Teeth a.k.a Mrs. Stupidity 21st Century…Sarah Palin.
You would have thought that a smarter person would have said how great of a tragedy this was and how this impacts the lives of so many truck driving, animal killing, truck driving fisherman who drink beer and drive around with sharks in their flatbeds kinda folks…since this is her *ahem* political base. Nope. She wants to now push for more onshore drilling in the Alaskan Wildlife National Refuge since those same oil companies have basically destroyed an ocean and land should be up for grabs cause we can plug a hole on land. Really Sarah? Really? I would have thought it to be a huge wake up call for us to start looking for alternative fuels sources, but under the influence of stupidity, I could see where her beauty pageant logic works.
Since the pay out from BP is going to run out for the folks in the Gulf Region sooner rather then later, I think people should make a mass exodus to Alaska so that when the stupidity takes over, they too can pay no taxes and receive $1,000 a year from those oil companies just for living in her “maverick” state. Think she will take the extra money and buy waterfront property on Prince William Sound? Or maybe a house on the gulf? Don’t betcha.
I know. This was too easy.
If you haven’t heard, the self proclaimed savior of the world and personal do-good’er Bono from the band who defined “sell out” known as U2 has been admitted to a hospital for emergency back surgery. Personally I think its from bending over in those stupid rock and roll poses in his music videos while the camera sails under his crotch or down his big mouth.
He’s probably in the hospital right now saying, “how kin yew poke foon of me in yer bloog when there’s all this suffrin’ goin on in me back! NURSE! I need another Nooty Booty bar!!!”
Here’s the CNN article, if you are pretending to give a crap!
When I saw this picture, my first thought was that I needed to rush out and get a pick up truck. I mean how cool is it to be able to drive down the street with a fully grown predator in the back of your pick up? Its a sunny day too, so you know that after a few hours that menacing gray monster in your flat bed will not only unleash the primal fear hidden deep within the recesses of your mind, but in your nostrils as well. I wonder what is in the blue cooler?