Folks, the list grows daily. Put this up there with great job listing terms like “ability to self municate”.
The listing du jour follows:
“Master storytellerable to craft a master narrative cohering an entire curriculum; able to write stories that relate the unknown to the known; able to create immersive, narrative-driven, learning experiences that expose learners to new beliefs or reframe current beliefs that drive effective behaviors; able to simplify and rationalize the complex and irrational.”
What the hell is “Master storytellerable”?? I’m serious folks. This was in a job requirement. This sounds like they want you to create some sort of Romulan brain torture device. REEEEEDICULOUS!!!
A possible rewrite would be:
“Able to change republicans to democrats and straights to gays. Able to see into the future without a crystal ball and be held accountable for this. Make lazy people energized with stuff that makes them lazy in the first place. Change Christians into Atheists at the wave of a wand. (and lets not forget) Spoon feed the lazy and the rich.”
I am now going to crawl into bed and cry!
The person in that HR department responsible for writing copy reminds me of the inner-city/ghetto guys back in the service who loved to use the ’50 cent words’ in an attempt to add relish to everyday speech: “…the socio-econo-nomic ram-uh-fications of the postulatin’ dialectic indicates a negative pro-fundi-ty in the ab-so-lu-tion of the gregarious individual skill set therin…” (Thanks for your input but all I asked you is if you had correct change for the coke machine.)